Month: November 2021

no regret

I warned you. You knew before you hit on me what shade of Bad B I was beforehand.
You’d seen me put down the stupid when laughing at them simply wasnt enough.
I had a problem with how you treated me, I actually spoke to you about it.
You repeated the mistake and even took it another mile after that.
I fixed the problem, I got rid of you.
You thought you could just keep coming back, that was a problem.
I fixed that too, I punched you square in the dick by cheating on you.
I warned you, I don’t fight fair. I won’t live a life I hate, I won’t give my affection to someone who disrepects me. You attempted to become my lousy asshole boyfriend that made me unhappy. I had a problem and I fixed it.
One week later, all I wanted was to be able to end things as friends, you didnt allow that because you kept coming back. Why couldn’t you have just left it alone and have accepted the 1st breakup or even the 2nd? You really thought I was going to allow you to treat it like a game?
I don’t play little fuckboy games, I don’t play by “I’m a good girl-rules”.
I fight dirty. I don’t take shit. When I defend myself, there are no rules. I’ve literally never cheated on anyone in my life until then, but I knew it would burn your ass so bad that you’d never try crawling back, so I went there, I did it. I didnt just burn your bridge back to me, I nuked that fucker and dont regret it.

Next time a lady tells you its over, accept the loss and walk the fuck away before she shows you she’s capable of literally anything to stop the stupid she’s already thrown away from coming back.

I know.

I know everything, Its not that am acting and not confronting you both.. I am just waiting for some decency from either of you, the spec of respect which makes you think I deserve honesty and truth.

There is something greater than all of us, that is my light at the end of this triangle..

If you think I dont value myself just because you dont, you are so wrong.

I have patience because there is something greater inside me than you both and the whole world put together .

I have full confidence and faith in GOD, so nothing will hurt me or put me in a situation where Im not valued. If you think for one moment, that you will have me and that dirty secret at same time and get away with it. You are wrong , again!

Just watch this space. He works mysteriously, its all in his hands now.

Go to the dentist Harold

Look, I went to the dentist this morning and just to get you caught up to speed I haven’t been since about 2018 or so, since before COVID, since before I moved to Norwalk from Stamford. But you really need to go to the dentist every six months, okay? So I finally went today and I got a good report, no cavities, and they took pictures and everything, and with my dental insurance it didn’t cost me anything out of pocket, okay? So you really should go if you haven’t. I know some people who never go to the dentist. Are you one of them? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that the dentist is going to rip your teeth out and stuff them up your ass one by one? Because that’s not going to happen, I can almost guarantee that won’t happen to you! Why don’t you go to the dentist, fuck face? Why haven’t you been in years, you absolute goon? What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for your nasty rancid teeth to rot right out of your skull? Go to the dentist and tell them you are sick of having your breath smell like an unwashed butt hole!

To the lake

Is a Russian zombie series we just finished watching, and while some of it is stereotypical soap opera tropes there’s also some very interesting real time commentary alluding to a China’s influence and potential attempt at hostile infiltration. The show came out in 2019, in the early stages of the pandemic and what commentary begins as a few small comments about intentional causation on China’s part develops into something even more menacing during the stories development, but alas with us all caught up on the released seasons I’ll have to wait and see how they continue that conversation further. As a country closer to the source I am curious about their perspective during this time period, while also maintaining awareness that what is reflected in the show is just one facet in the greater scope of global conversation.

Saying this I also feel it is important to say I’m not particularly biased on any one country, there’s manipulative and cruel people anywhere you go but perhaps I feel the conversation itself at least yields to an understanding of the puzzle that is current events.

In threes

Just found out the THIRD girl I liked in my life who told me she was a lesbian has been dating a male athlete for years. Not as bad as the first one dating several of my male friends within like a month after saying that or the second flirting with male friends right in front of me.

What’s so wrong with me? I can’t even cry anymore. I hate myself so much.