Reflection

Dear A,

There are so many things I could say to you. I’ll try to keep it brief. I know you are doing well, and I am honestly happy for you. Correct me if I am wrong, but you weren’t this happy when we met, were you?

You know, I can’t help myself from thinking about you quite often. Even now. I hear our songs everywhere. Idk if I ever thanked you for introducing me to some good music. I’ve had to disassociate your connection with it a little honestly because it is so good! And there was a long time it was just kinda painful.

I think it’s important for me to be clear and honest with you. I am still very angry at you. FWIW. But, believe it or not, I have actually been maturing a lot lately, and I understand now that many things I was angry about were not actually your fault. And I know I lashed out at you alot. I’ve been doing that to people I love my whole life. Im sorry, you didn’t deserve that.

Most of the rage I directed towards you was unconsciously intended to boomerang back to me, if that makes sense, or at least I’m stating to think. (You’re into all that Oprah stuff more than me tho lol). But that doesn’t mean there aren’t some things you did I think we can both agree were wrong. If you could even acknowledge that, or my right to feel that way, it would mean a lot to me. That’s as far as I’ll go, before your family decides they need to “crucify” me again. LOL, but not really.

The troll under the bridge

Wednesday I get a message from my husband.

“Strange thing happened this morning on my way to work. I was still in the neighborhood when a girl walking in the middle of the street flagged me down. She said she was lost, was wondering the neighborhood for hours, looking for Hampden and Estes intersection. I pointed the direction for her, then she asked me for a ride. I told her no because I was late for work and it was opposite direction where I was heading. Then she started begging and offering money. At this point I was sure it was some kind setup and drove off.”

The place the young woman is trying to get him to drive her to is a bridge where a number of ambushes have already occurred. Stranger still I think of a dream I’d had a few weeks back, it was from the point of view of a young women of Hispanic descent watching our house ans thinking about lure. I remember waking up relieved it was a dream and now I’m not sure sure. Whatever the situation, I warn him it’s likely our home is being watched given the absurd hour this occurred

The general concensus from neighbors and family with give the run down to is “trap”. They tell him next time to bring up the cops, at best they’d help a lady in need, at worst you’ve at least given them the trail to a criminal outfit.
I also consider other possibilities of people into kinkier sex lives and still remain glad that the prospect of such a thing did not entice him off course.

War Memorial Field

My husband’s mom suprised us with tickets to see Lindsey Sterling in nearby Sandpoint.
Initially she was going to take his sister and him, and go with her best friend Eva and her daughters who were hoping to have the violinist sign their own instruments but told us she wanted to have some extra time with the grandbaby instead.
I was appreciative of the gift and despite having poor visibility from the lawn chairs, it really was an excellent performance.

With the sheer amount of people, I was worried we wouldn’t be able to find the lovely Eva or her daughters but we were able to spot them almost immediately entering the field and she had saved some space on the grass for us to join her.
The show was very dynamic with some beautiful forms from the dancers. The spotlights shining from behind us onto the stage attracted thousands of tiny moths that joined in the dancing.

Even though Sophia who had us listening to one of my old high school haunts, Acid bath on the way there. ( I had to give her some brief history of the album art featuring John Wayne Gacy, who he was and what he did), was rapt with enjoyment at the live spectacle of this artist she had thought had fallen out of her favor. The lady did good, Lindsey herself had a number of candid dialogue points on confronting depression, personal anecdotes on viewing chats devoted to trash talking her in at a time in her life that coincided with the death of a friend and her father. And how a kind stranger then thanked her for what she did,not necessarily in the musical sense but in the conversation for hope and she said in that moment she felt like her father was still there in those words protecting her. She also spoke at length about her beliefs in manifesting for better or worse your life course in everything you dedicate your life to.

While Eva’s babies didn’t quite get in on the violin signing, they did get an up close view of her at the end of the show and at the close of the night we all departed happy and decidedly sure we would see this artist again with our own kid if she came to our neck of the woods. Preferable at a venue with better viewing access.

Semper Fidelis

Dear E,

It’s been a long while since we happened and sometimes, there are moments that still make me think, “why didn’t we work out?”. More than the cheating that you did, I still wonder where we started to go wrong. Was it when we started fighting because of your ex? Was it the time you no longer see it fit to be on time? Was I too much or was I not enough? These are questions I may not have an answer to forever. I provided myself with the closure you could not give me. I’m honestly happy right now and you are too. It’s just sometimes I wonder if you ever really meant what you always said in your letters, “semper fidelis”. I hope one day we could really talk without all the blaming and I hope we get to find out where it really went wrong so that we may never have to be in that position again w our partners.

Tree2tree

I’m about halfway through our family trip to Idaho, having already reaquainted myself with Silverwood and Honeysuckle Beach, today my husband’s folks were treating us to a different kind of adventure.

Somewhere in Farragut National Park looms a treetop obstacle course, where you don their very best harness gear and test your mettle on their tightrope, swinging logs, and various other challenges. The adult course was a three tiered setup that gets progressively higher, similarly the kids had a 2 tier course that had less clasps and more balancing.

I’m not particularly keen on heights, but I’ve been ziplining over the rainforest before so I’ll be damned if I chicken out before at least trying the course.

I actually didn’t do as bad as I dreaded I would after getting the hang of the magnetic clasps. I completed the first two tiers of the adult course before I started feeling a little queezy on account of the heights. So I took the exit ladder at the end of course two and went to check out my kids progress on the kids course. My husband and his sister continued on to complete the third course and opted into the black course which was their most challenging course offered. Ending with them repelling 60 ft off a platform.

My kid was a champ, she completed all the kids courses and loved it enough to go another round. It really was a thrilling experience.

Afterwords we had sandwiches by a massive lake that you could see Montana on the far horizon peaks. The lake itself was formed by a torrential flood from glacial ice melt that impacted Idaho, Montana, and Washington. It was a solid little piece of history to experience.

Tomorrow we’re going to Art on the Green. I’m looking forward to price checking what artists here are selling for and at what quality.