LATE: Love According To Expectations

I may be prone to exaggeration. Like if I said you have never given me a chance. It’d be completely different if I said you’ve never listened to me, really listened, because that is 100% irrefutably true. You think you need more than just attraction to want to have a relationship? Maybe I’d like to like you for more than just being pretty? How about that I wanted you to like me for who I am end stop before I would ever want to change anything about myself for you? Here’s a good one: Sorry I don’t fit the bill of the dream guy you’ve been looking for from every Disney movie and Cosmo magazine you’ve studied, or the hundreds of guys that hit on you every single day, but hey, for the handful of girls I’ve talked to beyond ‘Sure I’d love to write your term paper for you’, I think I’ve tried pretty hard. Did I ever try to make you fit into some mold you weren’t comfortable in or reject you entirely for failing to comply with my expectations? Like “hey babe, Men’s Fitness and my last 100 girlfriends agree that gargantuan breasts are essential to any healthy relationship; therefore, I can only answer 15% percent of your communications or less until you adjust accordingly.” You know what, I could go on forever, but until you’ve agreed to go on even one date with me, ESPN and International Bro Code dictate that my letters cannot exceed 250


It’s from watching The Queen’s Gambit but I’m thinking of when I was twelve in Georgia and trying to commit suicide through mixing a cocktail of pills in my folks medicine cabinet and was then sick for days before changing the movie tone to Men in Black : International where I hear Liam Neeson’s High T repeating the concept that the universe has a tendency to lead you exactly where you need to be at the right time, and Chris Hemsworth’s character following up with except when it doesn’t.
I liked how that movie ended, lots of serendipitous events culminating in personal story development. Perhaps it got me thinking about the different ways I was enlightened or guided into sticking around.

Relief, my house is recovered of illness, and it is concluded the foot issue was caused by a small fracture. Theres a number of childrens toys I could probably deduce are potential culprits.

My mom later texts me to let me know a number of my family members in the isolated town of Rangely have caught the Rona, and while she hasn’t she’s postponing her visit to be sure.

Also in for info recieved for today, one of my girlfriends and her boyfriend Lev were hit by a car that drove off. A good samaritan grabbed the plates and while both of them are mostly okay Viera’s walking away with a tooth chipped to the nerve and the need to get hip xrays.

You’re Often on My Mind

Dear TJS,
I miss you and wish I could talk to you often. I always appreciated how hard you were willing to work to have a better life. I valued your ambition.

I know 6 years ago wasn’t the right time because you were getting married and hoping to have a family. However, your life has changed and I wonder if you still think of me. I hope you’re doing well.

Until next time.

Forever your baby.


I want you to know that I’m happy and that moving on can bring you good things. I miss you sometimes in ways that haunt me, but love is love. I hope you feel that one day. I hope you give yourself in ways you haven’t before to someone else. I hope you challenge yourself and grow. I hope we can look at each other one day and realize why it’s worked out the way it has and feel happiness for ourselves and for each other. I’m always rooting for you.

I dont know

If I have Covid 19, but I get reports a few people near my partner at work have tested positive.

Previous to this information I had a few rough days, pain in my chest when I would inhale, stuffy nose, so at throat and stranger still the bottom of my left foot covered in small painful blisters. My kid just has cold symptoms .

I’m not sure if my symptom manifestation could be psychosomatic, as intense as this year could be.. so we recluse ourselves but hold off on getting tested, as per my partners request, that is..until another positive test comes back fro. His co workers, closer to his shift. Even though my partner exhibits no symptoms, our kid being under almost a full week of stuffy noses, I suspect this might not be just a cold.

There’s not really a clear cut way to handle this right? Beyond the reasonable doubt is cast on testing facilities for inaccurate tests, even if I test positive what treatment can these almost full hospitals provide me when they’re focused on trying to keep the ones with more severe symptoms afloat. We wear our masks, we sanitize, and our income is balanced on our ability to strategize the best course of action.
Grateful grocery and restaurant delivery is offered here until we know.