I just had a near-nervous breakdown worrying about what would happen to me if they changed the formula for the green Gatorade. I guess I don’t really have any evidence or proof suggesting they are going to do that, but it’s not like they would ask me first is it? I’m absolutely sick with worry thinking about what would happen if I went to Walgreen’s one day and got a bottle of Lemon Lime Gatorade and brought it home and took a big swig and it tasted a little bit different. I really like the way the green Gatorade tastes now, and if it changed I wouldn’t know how to react. I was so worried in fact that I just walked up to Walgreen’s and bought a bottle of the green Gatorade and two mild Slim Jims. Thank God the Gatorade still tastes the same as it always has.
Like I said, I have no inside knowledge or reason to believe that any sort of change to the formula for the green Gatorade is imminent or even being considered. For all I know they could keep the formula the same for the next ten thousand years. But they could also change it tomorrow, and change it forever, and then there would be no way to ever taste the old version of Lemon Lime Gatorade that I really do love so much. I spent the morning throwing up out of sheer panic just thinking about this happening. Maybe I should write them a letter saying please don’t ever change the formula. Do you think that would help? Or do you think that I would just be bringing attention to the formula, and ironically making it even more likely that they would change it? I could really use some advice on what to do. I’m twisted up in knots and I can’t think about anything else.
They can do whatever they want with the red (Fruit Punch) or blue (not sure) flavors, or the weirder garbage flavors like Ice Mountain or Frosted Shock or whatever the fuck else they have. Same with the Gatorade Zero. I’m sure those flavors have their fans and many of them are probably as passionate as I am, but selfishly it is only the bog-standard Lemon Lime Gatorade flavor that I really love deeply. Oh God, should I call the Gatorade factory? I should, shouldn’t I? What if I did though, and then they laughed at me, and then they changed it just to spite me? I don’t think I can risk it. But I also don’t think I can keep living like this, spending every waking second in a heart-pounding near frenzy at the thought that they might unexpectedly change that Gatorade formula on me. What would you do if you were me? How would you cope? How could you cope? I could really use some answers here, please, whatever you have that you think may be of help. I am in a prison of my own making, and that prison is called “the fear of what if they made a new formula in replace of the old Gatorade formula for the flavor of Lemon Lime Thirst Quencher”