What are we doing?

For something like four million minutes, every holiday, every birthday, every special occasion, all I wanted is to hear from you. And I never have, not once. It doesnt really hurt anymore, not even disappointed that much actually. I dont understand why you feel its necessary to withhold basically everything from me, both publicly and privately. You dont talk to me. You dont celebrate my highs with me or support me in my lows. You definitely dont fuck me. You dont share your life with me nor allow me to share mine with you. Ive tried to tell you for years how this isnt working for me, this isnt good for me. How much it damages my self-esteem and confidence when you say you care about me yet make zero discernible effort to actually showing that. Cause its gotta be me right? You’re certainly not the one who’s a little bit broken inside. But you dont listen or dont care. And I think its only reasonable for me to assume this is how it will always be, and nothing I ever do or say will ever change anything between us. So, what are we doing? Or, how I used to phrase it. Tell me why I am still here. Its time for you to give me a real answer.

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