Today really sucked, per usual. Nonetheless, I was off from work for the last two days on PTO. I was alone and stuck in my thoughts for the most part. I don’t have any friends, so it’s hards to really talk to anyone about what I have been feeling. I tried the therapy thing, and it did nothing for me, honestly. So sometimes, I come here and I write about you or the other person who is often on my mind.
However, today is a different day bc I realized that I need to focus more on myself. I need to regroup and figure out how to get out of my funk. I am really bored and low keep depressed. I know I shouldn’t be complaining bc I am in a much better space than most people. I have a roof over my head and I still live at home with mom. I have a great job with a solid compensation package, and I am healthy despite having COVID several months back.
Honestly speaking, I feel tired…tired of everything. Tired of worrying about everything.
In the end it’s nothing to really do with you. I was just tired of feeling angry at you. I wish I was emotionally mature enough for my reptilian mind to get that it isn’t really other people who make us angry; it’s the unmet expectations we once formed for them.
Apparently I’m not that conscious after all. You wouldn’t have gotten much more out of me.