Sad and angry

I confess I am angry, angry you are a believer, not just any, but that particular group. I wish I could argue you out of belief, but that won’t happen, if I tried I would only alienate you totally.
And anyway it needs the person to realise, you won’t or if you do, you will be married by then, and given what you said, to someone the same.

That makes me even angrier, that is because I would do anything to be with you, and whilst some would say you can’t fake it, I damn well could and would, better than most who are according to them, genuine believers.
But I am years too late, and worse I’d believe if you said you loved me, wat else could bring you to me but a god.
But no, you don’t and won’t and I hate it, oh I understand how easy to fall in it is, and that too really grinds me up, it’s a faith you were brought up in, you did not get choice, but I cannot even tell you that much, you believe now so there is no talking you out of it.
But it isn’t fair, it isn’t. I love you, I would respect every rule and part of your faith if it meant being with you. I would spend y life making you happy because just being near you makes me happy. I know that is so selfish, and greedy but I can’t help it.
I heard what you said, and I mean listened properly, so I would respect your wishes, I would honour you always.
Now maybe some would say never put her on a pedestal, but you are a princess in my eyes so how can I not. How can I not love you and want to make every day perfect for you.
Tortuous life why do we seek gods at all? Because it is all so unfair, when we love we hurt, so we want a greater power, a promise that if not now, then one day, all will be as we wish, re-united with loved ones, and that old tale of he has a plan for you, what you want now, he may have more in store than you know, yeah if you believe, then it hurts but you have hope.
The promises and rewards in our minds hold more power than anything anyone else could offer.
How sick that it is this way, you will never never know how I feel, never know that I would walk through fire and hell if it were real to save you, and I hope whoever you end up with, will love you half as much as I do, you deserve to be loved this much, you are one in a billion and I could write a million more words, but they all come into a sentence that if you think about what it says and take it truly, you will understand. I would do anything for you, because, I love you absolutely no matter what

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