Rebirth

Did I live before in a different time, a different body? Will I live again in the future? Have I learned from my mistakes this time around?
I yearn for things long gone from my marriage – desire, intimacy, respect. I fell so far from my ideals, and I cannot find the will to get out of these depths. If I don’t manage it in this lifetime, will I have a chance in another? Please Universe, help me find the will.

Who, what, why

Who am I, what does anyone care, and why do I bother? I work hard, I give as much as I can, I love as much as I can, but it is all taken for granted and sometimes I wonder if it is all worth the suffering and effort. The answer is, absolutely yes. I don’t work hard for me, I work hard for my family. Do they always appreciate it? No. But as long as I can last long enough to see them all grown up and happy, I’ll be happy. Although life can get you down sometimes, hang in there. In the best way, it’s not about you. It’s about them. Those precious, innocent lives that rely on you to guide them and support them. Life’s hard, and the best way to prepare them for it is to stay tough and show them that, whatever life throws at you, you are unmoved and in control. I want my children to be better equipped than me, and that means I have to be better than me. Rise above yourself, and the very best person you can be

We Never Met, But I Married Your Niece

Dear Aunt Jo,
Your niece and I had been dating just about three months when you passed. We call it our week of hell. For her there were a lot of work mishaps and for me I lost my job in the midst of the hardest finals week of my life. I will never forget the phone call I got the morning after you passed. Your niece in utter distress. Me not trusting her to drive to her family 45 minutes away. I will never forget how this event was the thing that got me to walk into your brother’s home for the very first time. To sit with him, your sister-in-law, and your nieces. I have lost people in my lifetime, but the way they talked about you. The way you loved, the way you cared, the way you would’ve done that to me. But I am thankful for you, grateful.
If it wasn’t for you introducing my now father-in-law and mother-in-law, I wouldn’t have my wife. I wouldn’t have the person who fill the emptiness of what I thought was my cold heart. I have you to thank for that. And if any of what was said at your memorial was true, I really wish I could have met you. My wife and father-in-law, your niece and brother, keep telling how much you would love me and I don’t think I have the words to really express how much I would love you. I would be here, sitting in my wife’s childhood bedroom on Christmas Eve if it wasn’t for you.
Thank you, I love you,
-Your Nephew-In-Law

To the mother I wish I never had

You’re my mother, so of course I love you, but you’ve hurt me in ways I’ll never recover. I get we’ve reconciled over the years, broke apart, and come back many times over, but im always going to fragment from you. Im glad youre not the person you once were, but just because you don’t hit me anymore doesn’t make you a good mother. You don’t even remember half the shit you did to me, and when I remind you, you deny it vehemently. Just because you block out shit doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. You have no idea how awful it feels to be gaslighted by your own mother. At least Grammy admits to the fucked up shit she did to you. You pretend half the shit you did to me didn’t happen to make yourself feel better. That’s not fair to either of us. You have broken my spirit in ways that will never heal. I feel like I’ll never be a whole person because of you. Im typing this out for my own clarity. I dont expect a response. Hell, I’m most likely not even going to send this. I just needed to type out my feelings, not that it would do anything to you anyway. You are and always have been a terrible mother. I wish more than anything that I could just get you to love me and stop blaming me for your misery, but I can’t force that on you. I wish you luck in the rest of your endeavors.

Meant to be?

Hey LINS Community,
Thinking about an old love who I swear that I meant to be with. However, I was not chosen back then.

Have you ever felt like you were meant to be with someone but ended up not with them? Do you ever think of a possible reunion in the near future?

Man, this one has had a hold on my heart since we were 13. I am now 28 and we had reconnected briefly at 22. At the time, we both had unfinished business with our significant others at the time. He married and is now undergoing divorce and I am no longer wanting to be with my partner of almost 12 years.

Thoughts?

I still think of my old love everyday.