I am so angry and have been for quite some time. I honestly cannot figure out how far back, but I am angry, very, very, very, angry. I wish I didn’t feel this way, but I do. My life isn’t what I want it to be right now. I am grateful for what I do have, but I am not okay. I had to end my therapy sessions because I didn’t appreciate how my therapist spoke to me or felt the need to talk about her issues during my sessions after I was paying for my time. She felt that after three sessions of getting to know me that I wasn’t being honest. Everything I do is honest, and I am extremely, extremely transparent. Nevertheless, I had to end that relationship.
Speaking of relationships, I am in one that I am not happy about. I don’t want to be with him anymore but I also don’t want to be alone. I am fully aware of my selfish behavior, but I just don’t know what else to do. I am tired of not having friends, not being in a healthy and loving relationship. I am not happy that I didn’t end up with the person I wanted to end up with and I am tired
I also feel like I am doing everything alone. I am trying to figure out my next steps in terms of housing, debt payoff, and my future. I have been taking care of myself and other’s needs ahead of my own. Now that I have pretty much stopped, I am now considered selfish. Who takes care of me when I am in need? NO ONE, and I AM TIRED.
Being alone isn’t that bad. Definitely better than compromising yourself for someone who doesn’t deserve it.
Did you tell them that you don’t want to be with them anymore?
No, I haven’t. I don’t know when to tell them or even if I’m ready. It makes me feel like a horrible person, honestly.
Don’t, i get it, it is the boat i am in, been in for over a decade, and now faced with someone i could be happy with, i feel like i would be horrid to hurt who i am with, to secure my happiness, can’t i drag along 20 more years making them happy, they are and have been, so screw my selfishness right?
No. I don’t have the strength yet, but i am working through it, i suspect the time will come sooner than later that we part. I am so sorry to do it, but at the end of the day, we deserve it, so rather than misery, and affairs are a no go, be happy.
As for other things, time helps some, the right understanding with the right people to talk with, that too helps, best of luck in finding the resolutions you need, but dont feel bad, dont feel selfish, you do deserve good things, things for yourself to meet what you want and need