I feel like such a fuck up. A total failure. Disappointment after disappointment after disappointment. When will it stop? When will the universe cut me some slack, instead of ripping the carpet out from me and laughing in my fucking face every time.
I think I am really attractive physically; I feel the need to say that to the readers so people can know that I do have a pretty good self esteem over all. I was laid off this year due to COVID-19, but I’m in grad school full time for clinical counseling and I am extremely good at practicing therapy. It’s my niche.
So tell me why, dear fucking universe, you have allowed me to experience so much pain. Rejection after mishap after rejection after mishap after rejection and so on and so on. It’s never ending. I pray, I learn, I am resilient, I practice meditation, I am mindful, sweet, dedicate my time toward helping others in any way I can, I love big, I persevere, yet… I can’t ever catch a fucking break. I’m tired.
I finally met a good man (my brother’s roommate/best friend) anddd he ended it because my brother was upset over it. He stopped answering my texts and I just don’t get it. People come in an out of our lives for a purpose and a lesson, but, I am so sick of people walking away and never being the one that gets chosen.
Maybe I just need to be a stone cold bitch in order for things to finally happen, because up until now I have gotten nowhere. At what point does becoming stubborn, mean, or rude outweigh kindness?? It makes no sense. Nice people finish last, but I am tired of being last.