Letters I'll Never Send

You think I’m the one who should be seducing you….sorry, but you’re not for me.

You think your C game should be enough, after all it was enough for all the others….well sorry, go back to that basic lot because you’re not for me.

Hey, sexual attraction is the key right? All you need?….thanks but I’ll pass, you’re not for me.

But hey, you got that fancy car, that should be enough right? Well, you probably pronounce Porsche as a one syllable word. I’m not impressed because you’re not for me.

Your go to is try the jealousy move….sure, why not expose your insecurity all at once. Thank you, makes it so easy to see that you’re not for me.

You go off with someone else, good for you, but still want me….too bad I don’t share and you’re not for me.

There are BILLIONS of people on this planet, but only one me. If you don’t realize that by now….you know what it is.

As conceited as you are you probably thought I’ve been waiting for someone like you. False. And until you can put more than the first two letters into extraordinary, you’ll never be for me.

Let’s say hypothetically you move on, settle down, lol. Congrats that’s the best your life will ever be. And you’ll have to go all the rest of your days knowing you were never good enough for me.

You won’t see me or hear me, real g’s move in silence. But I’ll be out there somewhere, and you’ll know it, and it’ll drive you crazy. Because you know deep down I will find someone better than you, I’ll search the four corners of the earth til I find true perfection. And that one, that you would be ashamed to even gaze upon, that’s the one that is for me.

Don’t blame yourself just because you didn’t pass the muster. You’re not the first to leave with your heart in your hands, putting on a brave face when inside you’re absolutely devastated. You won’t be the last either. But I own you. Forever. That’s my superpower.

Ashlee G,
You are beautiful, and I enjoy your company.

-Your partner

P.S. I still need the pictures of the candidates. 😉

Simon remember that time I went on a walk with you guys on the hills of Scotland, I just wanted to say thank you for being my hero that day. Stupid me I just took it we were just going for a walk but it turned out to be a hike trail and I was so out of shape I felt like I was going to burst at the seems and couldn’t go any further. I remember telling you guys you could leave me and you will find me when you came back but you insisted that you stay with me to keep me company. I remember also thinking I could just jump into the loch and claw my way back on the rocks to the hotel but I don’t remember saying that out loud. Lol. Note of attention, I can’t even swim but then I think miracles would have been possible that day if I put my mind to it. My thoughts turned to you this day and I can only say you are the only man who stuck it out with me when I was having a hard time. You were kind enough to stay with me and keep me company while heading back to the hotel, making sure I was safe. This day I dedicate to you and your act of kindness and care to me. Will forever be grateful for you and that day. I hope wherever you are you are doing fine and wish you all the happiness in the world.

All you ever think about is yourself. You’re constantly wanting attention like a spoilt child. You’re meant to be a grown adult. I’ve also noticed that you always hang out with us both, but separately. Even though you b**** to me about her. Even if she HAS said anything bad about you to me, why would I even tell you? I probably wouldn’t tell you because it could cause arguments. You expect others to put in all of the effort, but we don’t get anything back from you. You tend to just stay in the distance, without letting any of us know what’s wrong. Are we meant to guess? Not all of us are mind readers. I have often wondered why you can’t hang around with us both at the same time. That’s why I’m beginning to wonder if it’s you who is actually the divider. You’ve been to her flat many times and made video’s with her and at of other stuff that you don’t even bother doing with me, so don’t go playing the “No-one cares” game, because it’s getting old. Also, you ran off with our supposed “mutual” friends without so much as a goodbye. I felt abandoned when I came back into the room to find that you just took off. You’re not much of a friend. I will.never know why I bothered taking up your offer of hanging out with you. If it was just to impress the support staff, well there you go, job done. What more is there that you could possibly have to say to me? Thanks for the very short-lived friendship [a few weeks]. You only do this to me, but you treat the rest of your friends here differently. I don’t think you understand how much it hurts my feelings. I’m not sure what you can ever do to make it up to me. I had abandonment issues and I still have trust issues, and you made out like you will definitely “look after me”. Your words, not mine. Oh well. If you’re just some flash-in-the-pan kind of “friend”, then you’re the kind of friend I really don’t need in my life. You can’t expect others to just approach YOU if YOU never approach THEM. As for reaching out, that’s still more or less the same thing, but you don’t even reach out to me, but you expect me to reach out to you. You can’t expect effort back without putting effort in. Oh and I’m so sorry about thinking about my own life first. Actually I’m not. Until or unless you come out of your overly dramatic woe-is-me phase, then I think I can at least begin to understand, but how can I if you’re not even talking to me anymore? What am I supposed to Think?