I can’t forget!!

How am I still in shock from you having cancer? It’s been three years since you died, and I still can’t manage to move past it, but that’s alright, because there’s no time limit on when to stop grieving. I would feel insulted if anyone expected me to move on from it. And so what if I can’t? I don’t have to answer to anyone for taking the time to grieve about you dying. Plus the fact that you were my fiance, that is what makes it that bit extra tougher to recover from. Everything happened too fast in year 2018. You’d only passed away four months before it was year 2018. I remember not wanting there to be a new year, because I wanted year 2017 to stick around, as that was the year that you passed away. Everything happened too fast in year 2018. I didn’t really get much time to grieve about you properly in 2018, because all sorts of other nightmare things were going on
Things that I should have stayed away from, when I look back on year 2018. I actually don’t want to remember any of that. It doesn’t signify to me as any importance. I was always, and still am quite reluctant to ever have another “Happy” new year. I’m not sure about anything in life anymore. But then, why would I be? Not many people my age, lose a life partner to death. I was only age 36 when you died. I don’t have any idea as to how anyone at that young age would even begin to move on.

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