Author: Anonymous

America. You are the land of monsters. Your monsters carry badges, they have intimidating and awesome titles, they run this shit show. It’s time for change.

Your country, once perceived as amazing, is looking pretty shabby now. Run by giant toddlers with tantrums. Actually, that’s really rude to toddlers. More like rabid, syphalitic wild boar. Again, sorry wild boar…

I’m so tired of watching the news. How many black people are going to be slaughtered in the streets, for just being black? Getting shot 7 times IN THE BACK? Police destroying cameras and footage, what the actual fuck is going on, America??? Something in your water?

What makes me sick is I have always been a police sympathizer. Almost always refusing to believe they were bad, having to hear the other side of the story. Knowing full well of course A FEW were bad, but genuinely thinking most were awesome human beings trying to make their prospective communities a better place. HA! This last couple of months…. jesus christ. I have openly wept more times than I can count….

ACAB. Here’s the thing, I’m sure there are cops who went into it for the right reasons, there definitely are individuals who truly wanted to help, wanted to make the world a better place. The problem, ladies and Gentlemen, you cannot watch atrocity after atrocity, keep your mouth shut, look the other way, plug your ears, hum loudly AND STILL THINK YOU GET TO MAINTAIN A GOOD PERSON PARTICIPATION TROPHY!!! FUCK YOU!!!! Oh, but you’ll lose your job if you say anything??? Well fuck! Why didn’t you say so??? Find another fucking job, go work at Target. Might not be glamorous, or pay as much, but a lot less blood on your hands.

Physically remove that orange nightmare from that building. Start with that.

I know better to contact you directly, so I leave this here. I hope you’re doing well, smiling more and happier. You’re free from the toxicity and I’m okay knowing you are better off. I’d say sorry but I know my words have lost all meaning to you. Don’t worry I won’t make this a habit leaving you messages this has been the only time I’ve written something related to you besides my last email. This will be my last time. Be at peace, live life, smile more and enjoy a happier life. Don’t look back the past is there for a reason, what’s done is done.

I miss you so much today. I don’t know how to explain it. I know you’ve moved on over and over again. I ended it with someone in hopes of, well I don’t know…a chance for us to become something but I miss you so much today. I wish things could have turned out different.

I can’t get the image out of my head. You on top of me, thrusting slow and hard, while staring into my eyes. I can hear your heavy breathing. I can feel your face cupped between my hands. I can taste your lips. My legs wrapped around you. It’s hard to believe that something so real is so impossible. That I will never be able to experience that with you.

Three months without you and my brain can’t take it anymore. I can’t get you out of my head – not during my morning coffee, not during my quiet evenings, and certainly not while I sleep.

In these unlucky times, I feel so lucky to see you, feel you, and taste you in my dreams. Be well. I hope to see you so soon.

sometimes, i feel
b r o
k e n
i n s
i d e

you leave shards of glass in places i hide.
i take them out carefully and wrap myself up.
but instead of walking the other way,
instead of moving on, facing another day…

i see your face, and i walk towards you.

i jog.

i fucking run.

i’m not d e s p e r a t e,
s t u p i d,
c o d e p e n d e n t,
s p i t e f u l.

you make me m
e
l
t

The saddest part is

I dont get to care. I am not allowed to rail at you and scream how embarrassing this is that you have so much more potential than you are showing. That i KNOW the kind of pain you are in. That i KNOW why you photoshop photos and lie and manipulate. That you segregate your friends so that lies are better hidden and smaller groups are easier to use.
You believe you will never be good enough. So this creation, which is bullshit, is your passport to world.
But i dont get to tell you that because your disease is so strong it only turns the truth into more cancer.
I dont get to tell you that you ARE enough. That the lies and games never ADD to your being, they subtract. You are selling yourself so short and giving power back to those that set you on this path.
I dont get to scream that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen because you see only lies. I thought for a long time that i was the one of little faith but it is you.
No faith in love or goodness or yourself.
These are the reasons my heart breaks every single day. Living without you is easy. Living with the knowledge that your time is wasting away and you are in pain is infinitely harder.
But Im still praying and hoping.
“Let the angels go where you can not”

things can be easy.
we can live fast in the slow lane
things can be so, so easy
not complex, but happy and plain

you and i, me and you
against all obstacles, we’ll do what we gotta do

just listen and follow my voice
i’ll show you what you need,
you’ll always have a choice
but i’ll show you how to succeed
simple steps in the right direction
but i’m not always going to lead
you gotta show me some affection

i need to be loved in the right way,
not this “you vs me” type way
it’s us, together,
change your mentality
so no matter the situation,
we won’t weather
this isn’t just a fallacy
something that doesn’t exist
it’s real, true and deep,
something most people miss.

it comes down to the little things,
i keep saying that, I know
lil notes, random hugs,
at the end of every day,
love is what you need to show.

fuck the technicalities,
fuck the toxic behavior,
i want this shit for real,
growth is mandatory,
from both sides of the hanger

you hold me up,
and i’ll hold you down
when we come up,
we ‘ll see who is still around
cause if i got you,
and you got me,
it ain’t nothing else in this world i’m gon need.

I don’t understand why you are still on the back of my mind. I’m in love with someone else right now and have moved on with my life. We have broken up for almost 10 years. I don’t get why I still reminisce our past love. We even met up last year, we got closure. I was in love with what we had, but not who you are now. We are different people now, we have grown up. We aren’t who we were back then.

Are you the one that got away? Are you my soulmate or something? I wish I knew what I’m feeling. This absolutely sucks. I just want to move on.