The saddest part is
I dont get to care. I am not allowed to rail at you and scream how embarrassing this is that you have so much more potential than you are showing. That i KNOW the kind of pain you are in. That i KNOW why you photoshop photos and lie and manipulate. That you segregate your friends so that lies are better hidden and smaller groups are easier to use.
You believe you will never be good enough. So this creation, which is bullshit, is your passport to world.
But i dont get to tell you that because your disease is so strong it only turns the truth into more cancer.
I dont get to tell you that you ARE enough. That the lies and games never ADD to your being, they subtract. You are selling yourself so short and giving power back to those that set you on this path.
I dont get to scream that you are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen because you see only lies. I thought for a long time that i was the one of little faith but it is you.
No faith in love or goodness or yourself.
These are the reasons my heart breaks every single day. Living without you is easy. Living with the knowledge that your time is wasting away and you are in pain is infinitely harder.
But Im still praying and hoping.
“Let the angels go where you can not”