Back in 2012ish, I was seeing that japanese American guy for a bit? The one that’s twenty five years older than me and employed some impressively manipulative tactics to position himself as a potential partner to me at 16ish in my troubled home with nightly phone calls, video chats, and instant messaging. I spent so much money on phone cards.. only for him to vanish one night and pop back up a few years later?
The one that invited me out to California to meet in person,introduced me to his family and friends but also made nudging suggestions on how I should behave? The one that I dropped exctasy with a few times with and asked me to marry him? But ultimately I backed out because at some point because I couldn’t stand the gold digger looks other people gave me, or the fact that I missed someone else, and most of all the more I thought about the emotional turmoil his choices had strung me over the years , the more rage I felt. You remember that guy right?
Anyway earlier today he messages me a thumbs up. Just a fuckin thumbs up. The analyzer in me connects it to to Volk song Atlanta Dog I shared on Facebook earlier and a line about California in it, but it shouldn’t be because if it is that means he’s been lurking and if he’s lurking there, what else has he been influencing without my knowledge?
I bring it up to my husband and he tells me to ignore it but he is otherwise not as alarmed as me.
I ask Pete why he did it? He responds that he wasn’t aware he had, some nonsense about cleaning up the archives and must have accidentally nudged something. (He’s done this once before years ago. I logged into aim for the first time in a long while and he attempts a call)
I just ask him not to hold any hostility towards me and he says he doesn’t and the conversation ends there, but as I’m trying to guage the danger levels here , there’s a player trying to get my attention on 76 and I wonder what the link is because their name relates to another tangent we’ve been on here. I have a brief panic spiral before going back to my paints. I reckon it’s more along the lines of not wanting to be forgotten rather than the desire to devastate, but I’ve seen so much weird shit… it’s hard to say.