Day: February 27, 2020

My thoughts on you are forever changing.

I weep wishing you would hold me, knowing that day won’t come.

It’s been 6 years since I’ve seen you and 5 years since we last spoke. And I have to say that I miss you so much. I will always think that you’re my “what if” even if you didn’t choose me. I have just genuinely never felt a deep connection the way I felt it with you. I know this is unfortunate that the feelings were one-sided (me) but I just can’t shake this feeling still and it’s been 6 yrs. I will never forget the way you made me feel. I will always think of you and pray you are doing well, that you’re happy, and are living your best life with your family. Shame on me to continue feeling the love I have for you but I can’t help it. May you have a fruitful life full of joy and may you never experience pain. You truly are deserving of all of the best. XOXO- AM Love

Man have my thoughts been ever changing and I don’t feel understood. I just want what I want. I feel and deserve that it’s my time. I just want to move forward. Wishing I could change things.

Sometimes I feel happy because I love you.

But today I feel sad because I love you.

I wonder why I can go through some days with no problem at all,
no distractions,
no extra thoughts or daydreams,
just peace and joy,
contentment and fullness

While other days I am so wrapped up in thoughts of you –

how it’d feel to hold your hand,
caress your arm,
hold onto you,
undress you,
feel your lips on mine and the warmth of our bodies together;
wondering where your thoughts are,
if you’re craving the same love that I am,
if you’re lonely tonight, and
if I can be more to you;
hoping and longing,
wishing and dreaming,
silently loving,
hungry for you

– that I can’t even remember to eat dinner