I thought we see each other and we know. Because that’s how I had been thinking of our last time. Well, that didn’t happen. We were not on the same page anymore. Of course not. We will never be again. I had issues to accept this for a long time. But now it doesn’t hurt anymore. I don’t feel much anymore. Even though I know that it will never completely be over. You own a piece of my heart.

Free spirit

Freedom is one of the most important things for me. I love long and intense conversations with my tribe. I enjoy company with the right people. But I want to feel free and independent. I want to be able to decide what I do or don’t do. I prefer insecure freedom over security in prison. The best moments in my life were situations in which I felt free to do what I felt, when I felt in tune with my soul, when I didn’t feel the burden of others’ expectations. We met in one of these times. And I did what felt right. Till this day, even though I know how it turned out later, I think that I would have had more regrets if I had been more careful. I wanted what I did. Maybe it was wrong but without it my pain would not have been smaller. The worst thing had already happened much sooner than I was willing to recognize and accept… I had fallen in love with you.