I am so done with this quarantine.
I have no doubt that it has saved lives and greatly flattened the curve, at least where I am at, but it is driving me insane.
I feel stifled, suffocated and worthless. I know my worth is inherent, blah, blah, blah…. But when you cannot do the things you love to do, when you cannot express yourself the way you long to express yourself… When you trapped inside a home, a cage of your own making, with nothing but a toddler and husband for company…. You start to go insane.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband and my son- more than anything- which is why I continue to abide by these goddamn rules that are squashing my individuality and killing my soul.
You see, my responsibilities did not stop just because a virus decided to announce itself… And yes, I am stating that it is a virus that is ending our lives as we know it, not human beings or political leanings (although some leaders are more effective than others). The virus is NOT going away- and the world does NOT stop simply because there is a pandemic.
I am dealing with tragedies everyday. I am burdened with human suffering of those around me, with no where to escape. I cannot outrun my responsibilities. I am sick of paying the price for the rich to sit in their goddamn palaces and tell us all to stay inside. I have bills to pay. I need freedom to be able to pay them. Yes, some will die, but that is inevitable. And unless we decide to tax the goddamn billionaires who are profiting off of this plague and create universal income, alleviate debt and institute free health care- we have little choice in dealing with the ultimate outcome of this plague- death.
I sound so pessimistic, but I am also a realist. The only way out of this virus is going through it…
As for the tracking and testing- great, that gives us data, but it is a false solution becaue we live in a capatilist society that will go bankrupt if we close down the cities each time their is a spike in cases- and don’t fool yourselves. it will happen over and over again, until we reach herd immunity or a vaccine is developed. Herd immunity WILL happen first.
So fuck it all. Open it back up. And let people make their own choices to stay inside or face death by venturing out. Freedom of will. That is all I want.