• rambling on and on

    by  • February 21, 2017 • 0 Comments

    It’s been quite a few years since I’ve heard from you. Were you waiting on me to make the move? Silly me, I doubt that. Our relationship, what we had, was a ticking time bomb. Looking back at everything, I still go through all of the emotions. I still remember everything to this day. When

    If you really are here

    by  • February 20, 2017 • 0 Comments

    I recommend that you check your other halfs online activity. I stumbled across something highly questionable, and have tried my best to make sense of it, however, I cannot rationalize it, so I am choosing to stay out of it. Plus, you may already know or there could be a logical explanation. I’m not sure how, but that’s not my business. It is yours, so I hope you are at least aware.

    I want

    by  • February 20, 2017 • 0 Comments

    To hold you so badly. Just to hold you. Nothing I want more. Those are my fondest memories. Us just laying quietly with our arms and legs intertwined. No words. No expectations.

    Just holding you!

    I love you and miss you every second.
    I am here for you… even if you don’t want me to be.
    It’s unconditional…..

    Forgive Yourself

    by  • February 20, 2017 • 0 Comments


    Whether you admit it or not, things happened, and you made that choice.

    But you can’t keep beating yourself up over something that has already happened, and that you can’t change. The most you can do is to just move forward with a new sense of morals and really stick to them.

    You know alcohol has been pretty much nothing but troubling or problematic for you in the last 7 years – why are you a glutton for punishment in social situations? Dear god, woman, figure your shit out! It has had disastrous effects on you, your relationship, and your family. Not so much in the last 2 years, but you need to figure out a way to get a handle on it, or not do it at all. Have some self respect, but more importantly some self control!

    Shit happens. People do incredibly crazy and some even terrible things. What you did, while not the best thing in the world, was not something to be chastising yourself for.

    For christ sake, J hit a kid with his car. He’s admitted to to drunk driving blacked out as an almost 40 year old.

    Be what it may, the writing is on the wall if you can’t figure this out. Don’t obsess. Anonymity is on your side to a certain extent. A isn’t the kind to judge, and certainly neither is her friend (sucking some random guy’s dick in a bathroom, not even knowing his name? Uhmmm. Yeah.)

    People talk, and they always will. But not incessantly. People talk shit about each other, even best friends. I’ve seen it. I’ve heard it. But, distance is good. Take tomorrow to reset yourself, and not just spend the day in bed.

    You’re not a bad person. You make bad decisions, but ultimately, those do not wholly define you. You work hard, are caring, put people first and are invested in friendships.

    Relationships are always hard, and you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors. Just don’t tell people more than they need to know. Don’t spill your guts, because only a few people genuinely care ; the rest are just nosy.

    Don’t do this anymore. For your self, your job, your future. Don’t go back down that slippery slope that ends in nothing but misery and self loathing. You are worth so much more than that.

    I wish…

    by  • February 20, 2017 • 0 Comments

    I wish I had never met you.
    I wish my employer had asked someone else to travel to your office.
    I wish I could take the TARDIS back in time and tell myself not to obsess over you. That all it would result in is hurt, pain, self-doubt and wasted time.
    I don’t know why I thought you were interested in me in the first place. Was I seeing something I wanted to or were those looks just fake?

    Your life makes me sick.
    Don’t you ever struggle or have a bad situation you must overcome like the rest of us?
    You have the easiest life.
    Your family, friends, education, work, money, women, where you live – it’s all so nice and easy.

    The biases you have against support staff…you are dating a women who works at Crate & Barrel and yet you look down on a highly qualified individual like me. You make me sick!

    I hope you enjoy the humiliation coming your way.

    The truth will hurt…

    by  • February 20, 2017 • 0 Comments

    E –

    I see you flashing your relationship with Dan all over social media. I hope your bubble breaks when you read my letter. I want you to hurt the way that I hurt. I want you to be disappointed, angry and rejected. I hope you will stop and think about the man you are dating.

    Dan is not the nice guy you probably think he is. Don’t be taken in by his money and career – He’s a player, a manipulator and you will be thrown out like the rest. He has a double life, an attorney by day and a player by night. He has multiple dating site accounts, including Tinder, where he meets women for meaningless sex. My letter is going to upset you and humiliate the sh*t out of him. I hope it plants a seed of doubt in your mind about your “boo”

    Dealings of Heart has no logic

    by  • February 20, 2017 • 0 Comments

    the silence of the night brings with it aching memories of tiny bits and bytes shared together under same address space , which should have all been deleted as our process was terminated and all treads had been killed . I keep searching for your shadow in corrupted invalid memory in the hope that some day we would wake up from an indefinite sleep as if it were all a dream.

    Yes I know it is confusing .. my brain is fcked up.
    Good night dear , hope u get a good night rest ..