• 13 chromosomes

    by  • October 22, 2014 • 1 Comment

    Memories come back in a wave And rip open all the scars that you have made I still hear the voice telling me I’m a stupid shit Along with years of the speeches that shatter my confidence to bits With you I the second I did something you didn’t like A scrap of wood, a

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    How to Get Over the Loss of a Best Friend

    by  • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

    Understand that the friendship ended for a reason. Whether you end the friendship or the other person does (or in some cases, gradual distance between two people becomes more permanent), acknowledge that the friendship ended for reasons. The core reason can be anything from the unhealthy, bad nature of a friendship or simply that you flourished into two very different individuals overtime.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Get-Over-the-Loss-of-a-Best-Friend

    consequences

    by  • October 22, 2014 • 0 Comments

    of low self-esteem can be quite serious. It can bring to the development of anxiety and depression or relationship problems or problems in friendships.

    Been speding most of my life chasing skirts.
    Been going on speed dating shits only to fuck myself up.
    Been crying out to catch attention from girls but all in vain.

    And along with you..

    by  • October 21, 2014 • 0 Comments

    being an ass**** you are a liar and a damn Narcissist. Continue playing with your girlfriends because this one is history.

    saw you

    by  • October 21, 2014 • 3 Comments

    Just yesterday. Maybe you thought I didn’t see you at all. But you always catch my eye. Or maybe you didn’t see me at all.

    The thing is I think of you a hella lot.
    I check my mail everyday out of habit.
    I have no idea what to think.

    And is it stupid of me?
    To want to just tell you “I love you”.
    It makes me awkward and unbalanced.
    I’m far too rational to say it comfortably.
    But far too honest to say it is not true.

    Have I truly lost you forever?
    I love you, without question.
    Out of all the marvelous things that the universe scattered out, you are by far the most beautiful composition it has dared to make.

    Cheesy I know. But words really can’t describe what I feel. It’s so strange.

    I am so sorry.
    I am so so sorry.
    That I left you so easily. But you made it seem that I brought you so much pain. The fact is. Hurting you hurts me more than hurting myself.
    If that makes sense.

    God you’re fantastic.

    So what am I to do?
    When you won’t talk to me or see me.

    I can’t stop loving you. It is not a voluntary action.
    But neither can I make you love me.

    And I can’t be friends with you because I adore you. But not being near you is like living on bread and water.

    Why can’t I stop thinking about you?

    I can hate you now

    by  • October 21, 2014 • 1 Comment

    I’m so fucking relieved now knowing that I can hate you….you fucking bitch….I’ve done all I can to be an encouraging and supportive friend to you but you took all that and tossed it out the window because you had a boyfriend now husband….What the fuck is wrong with you? You had no right to betray all the years of friendship and trust that I’ve given you…..I honestly hope that later on down the road someone who you care about is going to treat you in the same way you treated me you god dam cunt and when that happens I can only wish I’ll be there to see it so I can laugh my ass off. As for us being friends in the future forget it….why the hell should I even consider keeping a worthless peice of shit like you around me.

    Rot in hell bitch and good riddance

    I ain’t sayin’ the S word, eh?!? I’m jus sayin.. I think this whole thing is stupid

    by  • October 21, 2014 • 1 Comment

    Sometimes I want to go home,
    Dad.

    It’s cold out here.

    My clothes n shoes –
    Dirty. Nnnm ripped…

    I’m fallin asleep with no dinner.

    I shrug it off, like, hey.
    Least we’re trim, eh, guys?
    And, like, the other kids I live with are even thinner than I am..

    One of my friends is out here because his mom got sick from cancer. passed away.. He sort of ran away, too, from his social worker crap, though.

    When I think about that,
    I wonder if I made a mistake
    by running away.
    I ain’t sayin’ the S word, eh?!? I’m jus sayin..

    He’s out here like I am
    because his parent died.
    Like. His parent is dead.
    Can’t have her back, no matter what.

    You an I are both alive,
    and I just left?
    We choose not to be family?

    Man.
    He’d do anythin to have his mom back.
    any reasons we had to be estranged seem stupid, sometimes.

    I THINK ABOUT YOU EVERY DAY NOW, DAD.
    IT’S NOT FUN OUT HERE, ANYMORE.

    I even miss goin to school, sometimes. That’s how stupid difficult it gets, us out here by ourselfs, eh?

    I wonder all the time
    what would you do
    if I pumped change into the library payphone and tried to reach you. Not that I kept your cell phone number. I don’t have any phone numbers anymore.

    Would I chicken out and hang up before I even said “hello?”

    Would you flip out at me, dad?

    I’d be like,
    It’s not an emergency, I promise.
    I’m just callin jus because, okay??

    Because I lo…..
    Because I.
    Because I’m sor….
    …..
    Because I’m very exhausted!!

    I wonder if I could jus go home for one meal,
    one night of sleeping safe
    in a real safe house.

    I want to see your face,
    because the last time I saw you,
    a year or so ago,
    I didn’t know what I would feel like,
    never seein it all the time.
    If that makes any sense.

    I know you say I don’t make sense.

    You’d be so disappointed in me, I know it. Sitting in front of the library, all dirty and tired,
    Strangers have swore at me before. They’ve spit on me before.

    Even if I did call you,
    I’m ten hours away.
    It wouldn’t do me any good.

    I’m jus sayin, I think
    This whole thing is stupid.
    I want to look at you an know you’re the same as when I left.
    I can’t barely survived out here without fishing more school.

    My hair is longer.
    I’m a bit taller.

    Not much good this past year. I’ve seen a lot of fugged up things.

    I don’t have a phone.
    I don’t have your number.
    I don’t have a mailbox.

    I’m ten hours away from you, dad,

    That’s too far for me to get home, now.

    What the eff am I sposed to do, now, dad?

    I want to go home.

    I’m too scared to reach out and say so.

    Workers at the youth center maybe would know what to say, but. I don’t say.

    Well. I hope you know,
    You prolly already know,
    Your street kiddo really really wants to go home and see you sometimes. I just wandered too far away.