• sarah this one’s for you

    by  • March 31, 2015 • 0 Comments

    Read something today that kind of changed the whole way I saw you, see I used to be so devoted to you so hung up and I’d do anyhing for you but in that split second I read what I read I had a stabbing pain in my heart I actually felt it phisically twang

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    The Phoenix Rises

    by  • March 31, 2015 • 0 Comments

    It was a beautiful night. I felt every bit like Cinderella at the ball.
    One dance turned into two, than a third, soon I lost track.
    You were positively charming. So handsome.

    You will never know how much those lovely compliments meant to me.
    I’m not sure I’ll see you again, but I will never forget how wonderful it
    felt. The truth is I was in desperate need of the spark you so generously
    provided with each brilliant smile.
    You can never know how terribly wretched, old, and ugly I felt until I saw
    that amazing sly smile. I have no doubts you are a playboy, you were incredibly smooth. Even as I said yes to that first dance, I could only envision the hundreds of ladies who would also say yes in the future. I admit, I thoroughly enjoyed that night. If I never see you again, I will always carry the image of you forever bringing back to life the broken hearts of silly old ladies like me everywhere you go.
    For one magical night, I was young and beautiful again.
    I’d forgotten what it was like, to be so happy, so free.
    Thank you for proving to me how easy it is to make me happy.
    I always felt as if a few compliments, a few smiles, and a couple of laughs
    were all that would be needed to lift my spirits. I was right and it was
    wonderful.
    Funny, the last time I felt this way…. it’s odd.
    His name started with Z…yours starts with A.
    I hope you find your soulmate someday, but not too soon.
    The world is full of lonely people and you have a gift.
    I remember I used to as well. Bless you for re-igniting this aging phoenix.

    Fuck you

    by  • March 31, 2015 • 0 Comments

    You blamed everything on me you took everything when you left me, in reality maybe I’m a self depreciating person but you you’re an absolute fucking bitch its been 2 Months and the onLy TiMe you talk to me is when you want something you convinced all my friends that I’m the one at fault when its you you cheated on your boyfriend told me about it and say you wanna break up with him and that you don’t feel anything for him then you tell everyone that he’s your one and only and that you love him when full well you knew I was in love with you before this you lead me on made me believe that you liked me back then say you have a boyfriend so fuck you I hope you rot in hell you major fuck head

    I don’t know.

    by  • March 31, 2015 • 0 Comments

    I don’t know anymore. I don’t think I ever knew in the first place. About you. About us. How can someone be your source of happiness, but also your source of sadness? You give me butterflies, but anxiety and headaches. You make me smile and laugh, but are the cause of my 3 a.m. insomnia and silent tears. I love you, more than I have ever loved anything in my life. But you’re no good for me. You’re indecisive and reluctant towards everything, a constant paradox. Sometimes I don’t know if I even know you. Being with you destroys me, but not being without you would cause so much more pain. What am I to do? I know one day you won’t look at me with adoration in your eyes, or desire, want, love. At times I question your true intentions. Do you really love me? Or do you love the person I could be, who you think I could be, who you want me to be? I hate it I don’t even know how to express my emotions anymore, not even through words, not even through writing. At times I feel you take no interest in me unless its for your personal gain, but at other times I feel like you’re one of the people who actually is attentive towards my emotional neediness. Am I stupid? Am I just being naive, foolish? I feared the moment I saw you and you noticed me, I knew you’d leave a permanent mark on me. It’s as if I lost myself along the way, along the way of trying to be everything you wanted, along the way of loving you unconditionally. You tell me that you need me more than I’ll ever need you, and that my love for you is insignificant and immaculate compared to the love you have for me. But baby, you’re wrong. No matter how many times you say it, you’re wrong. I feel it in my gut, in my bones, my blood. It scares me how vulnerable I really am, how fragile and unprotected you’ve left me, how you can take so much and walk away in a heartbeat, no looking back. I feel so unvaluable around you, I don’t know why. There’s so much, too much, but I’ll never tell you, because you’ll never understand.
    I’m on the verge of exploding.

    i know it not right

    by  • March 31, 2015 • 0 Comments

    all i want to do is pain, i want to hurt and want to feel pain, if its you breaking my heart or me cutting, i want to feel something else the sadness. i don’t know why i feel like this, i don’t think the pills are working anymore. i have a good life .. but why this sadness? and when i see my Doc, oh I’m fine, all smiles, I’m fine, but then months later this feeling, where i want something but i don’t know what it is, if it’s food, or sleep, cubbles or pain. i hate myself in this days, i just need something. but what?

    Truth -

    by  • March 30, 2015 • 3 Comments

    Hate the fact you don’t share your feelings how we use to be, it use to keep us close to each other. I know your sometimes feeling hurt the way i am but am genuine, I have no other motive than being with you. I don’t mean to hurt you, I care for you alot, I always trying my best to keep you happy and being there for you all time. I just want the way it use to be, making me smile with all your sweet words, hugging & kissing me. I miss it all, I miss you all, even after I’ve seen you, your always on my mind. You have no idea how much am in love with you and how much I want to be with you. I wish I could share all this with you but the way we are at moment I can’t and you don’t allow it. But only when it’ suits you which is really unfair :/

    I really want you to talk to me & listen to me. We are on the same road for a very long time with no direction, we need a map (plan) to know where we heading, regardless how long or the obsiticales we may face but for that we need to talk!

    You are important, you are different than others and its only you!
    That’s why I’m here still sticking around!
    …..

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