Sobriety…leads to restored awareness…which then leads to enlightenment. That may sound redundant, but it makes perfect sense to me.
I numbed my awareness for about three years, and awoke one morning without a desire to drink, or dull my senses. And I came the conclusion, that you and I never really belonged together. You seem to have no concept of what a relationship is, and this is secondary to your ego…or narcissism; take your pick.
You appealed to me, because of what I presumed to be intellect and logic that I presumed would challenge me. I thought that your presence would inspire me to reach for my full potential. But you apparently had other objectives. I wished to progress emotionally, logically, and academically; and your goal was regress emotionally, chronologically, and in maturity. You were a disappointment, on so many levels; as T has the depth of a half-foot rivulet, which is flowing with “BEEYUR”. And that…”legal professional”…the financiers saw her coming, and laughed all the way to the bank.
And finally, I think that you should know: If B happened to mention the secret that I told her (to…you) it’s true; and deep down I knew it, but didn’t want to face it. So many times, I tried to talk to you about it, and you blew it off. Next, there are lesions on my brain, and conus medullaris. Both explain the aggression, excruciating headaches, seizures, and the…embarrassing incidents that occurred. It has been missed from the very beginning. So I was/am, very sick. And FINALLY, it has been suggested that I might have hyperthymesia and another form of synesthesia. If you have any intellectual curiosity left, you might research this, so that you might understand how it can both be a blessing, and a curse.
I wish you the best, as I know that you will be happier with someone who watches football, drinks cheap domestic swill, and listens to country music-your idea of perfection. I will always love you, but you will NEVER know it; because you used me….for a reason I’ll never comprehend. I’m sorry that I was unable/unwilling to descend to T’s level of engagement.