OK so I don’t understand you. U use big vocabulary that annoys me I can’t express my feelings and that frustrates me my head hurts everyday I don’t know what to do anymore I’m not ignoning you I can’t find the words to say anything to u. I’m sorry ok I feel worth less and
I know you know you’re fucking beautiful but I want to tell you anyway. Maybe it’ll get all the lead out of my chest, slow down all this chatter in my mind, make me learn my lesson about wanting what I can’t have one last time so I can be done for good. This is
It’s hard loving you when you love two. You love the man you’re with, and me. Me being the second thought, the second realization, the second desire. I let you slip away when I had you right where I’ve wanted you all my life. I could sit with you for the rest of eternity and just focus on how you talk and look at me. The way you ponder my replies to what could be misheard. The way you ponder my body seeing me as more than I could ever think of myself. I know you don’t think you can speak to me, not now at least you said, but I hear everything you say in the looks you give. When you think I don’t notice when I’m picking a book or movie, but I really come for the feeling of you staring. Catching you in the act with your hand under your chin, thinking of how it once was. How it could be. How we could be together.
If I asked you to fly away with me, would you?
Would you take my hand and let yourself run? Would you let the stars and wind consume you, would you let yourself be torn down to the barest, naked pieces with me? Would you let your senses take over, would you feel for me as recklessly as the songs talk about, if only for a night?
This journey we’d take-just twilight to the morning aurora, living like we never have before. Dancing with the power of every star, set ablaze with fire and desire, wasted on rain and wine, high off our excitement. I ask not for forever, just to have you to myself, if only for a night.
If you agree, forget your insecurities and regrets, leave all shame at the door, come and dance with me among the sinners and reprobates, ferociously and fearlessly. Let your inhibitions fade into the night, take off your worries and fear, let the rain strip you of it all. Let me be your armor and shield, let me be your air and your fix, if only for a night.
By morning this could fade, terror and pain could creep back with the sun, but I don’t ask for tomorrow, just today. I don’t ask for promises or monogamy, devotion or fidelity, I ask for passion and freedom and electricity, if only for a night.
They say friendships that last over 7 years last a lifetime. I say that’s not true. Time is nothing. You could have all the time in the world and still not know what a person is really like.
I thought you would have at least cared enough to message but no, your life’s busy. I know you’re avoiding me and I think I best avoid you too now. I’m sorry I had faith in you and your character. You’re not who I thought you were, maybe this is showing me what you were feeling when tables were turned but we both know if what happened to me. Happened to you, I would come running to you. It was always you I’d come back to but not anymore.
You couldn’t have disappointed me anymore than you already have but you still managed that. So I bid you farewell. You’ve broken me. I thought you knew me better than any other person but you don’t. You don’t know me one bit. I hate you for what you’re putting me through. I hate you all for messing up my life.
I wish I never meet another man like you or them exes. Best friend? My ass! You’ve ruined me along with the others. You’re all the same. I hate you men.
They say women are the bad ones, men are worse. I hate you so much I wish I never see you again ever. You’re such a let down. That’s all you ever have been to me. Where were you when my nieces passed away? Where were you when I kept getting declined to get to uni? Where were you when my brother was loosing the plot? Where were you when I hurt myself? Where were you when I just wanted a hug because I felt so lonely? You were never there! I keep seeing you from rose tinted glasses but you’re just as bad as the others. I hate you so much. I hate you for breaking my heart more than they ever could. I hate you for making me cry more than I ever have. I hate you for coming in my life. You are such a disappointment! I’ll never forgive you for this.
Go live your life and chase the world. I hope I’m never ever like you. I never want money to rule my life. I just want my family. I hate you for what you’ve made me into