It frustrates me that this is the only way I can convey my thoughts to you- not knowing if you will ever see this, but I had to give it one last shot. Chances are, if you are reading this, you are here for the same reason I am, and I can say “mission accomplished”. I have the slightest bit of lingering hope that something will lead you to this site, your eyes to these words, and your mind back to what we used to be.
I’m not angry at you for leaving me. I’m not angry at him because he has you and I don’t. I’m here to say that the person you fell in love with is the same person sitting here typing this message to you right now. I admit, I had some struggles with an addiction I was fighting at the time, but, thankfully, I’ve fought through that, and I’ve been sober for over a year now. Alcohol makes one say and do irrational things – especially when the heart is broken. I wish I had been given the chance to explain some things to you, though. Unfortunately, I believe some “friends” misinformed you on things. They even got in my phone and sent you some things that were hurtful, and it was embarrassing on my part. I would have never said those things to you. I did some stupid things, but I did not say those hurtful things. Whatever. That’s not why I’m here anyways.
I just want you to think back for a second to the way you felt that night I first kissed you. Remember laying in the grass by the water? I remember thinking life could not possibly become any better for me than it was in that very moment. I remember the moon lighting your face and creating the most beautiful sparkle in your eyes. I remember the way your hand felt in mine and how it lightly trembled because you were nervous. It didn’t last but for a few minutes, but I want you to know I would go through the pain of you breaking my heart all over again just feel what I felt in those few minutes.
Although it seemed, at times, as if we were rock solid and nothing could divide us, we were fragile. Every “I love you”, “I’m so happy with you”, “I’m in love with you” seemed to be another brick to the wall between us and the world. Little did I know, you would be the one to tear it down. It’s okay, though. We had our time, our moment in time where we shined, and I would not take anything in the world for it. For whatever reason, you saw it best for me not to be a part of your future. I couldn’t have given you the world, my love, but, I swear I would have made you feel like the only person in it. Our time came to an end long before my love did, but I want you to know that I am eternally grateful for giving me the best time of my life.
So, I guess this is my last goodbye. I’ll be moving on. I will never forget the way you made my heart feel for the short time you loved me. I lived – while you loved me. I have to do what’s best for me now. I have to focus on making the best out of what life has given me. I have to let you go. Wow – that was the hardest line to type. Goodbye, beautiful. Don’t forget about me. If God decided to take me from this world, please know in your heart that you were loved with everything in my being. I wish you all the happiness life can offer.
I love you always,