• What am I missing?

    by  • November 14, 2017 • 0 Comments

    Did I go to prom my first two years alone because I couldn’t get you to go with me? Check. Did I not even go to prom my last year because I didnt want to go alone again? Check. Did I invite you to my graduation, but you didn’t even respond? Check. Did I break

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    by  • November 14, 2017 • 0 Comments

    You were in my dream last night.
    I dreamt that I said something very minor to you and you decided to publish those pictures of me on the internet. The ones you took without my permission, without my knowledge. The ones you said you took because you missed me, because if you had asked, I would have said no.
    In the dream you said you would tell all my family and friends where to find them. You said it with such bare-faced nonchalance that all I could do was pretend not to care and try to convince myself that it didn’t matter.
    I had forgotten about the dream, about you, about the pictures, until just now during a meeting with colleagues I like spending time with. And now I feel sick.
    I hope the memory of what you did haunts you the way it still haunts me. I hope it keeps you up at night. I hope you find yourself in a good situation surrounded by wonderful, witty, insightful people, and then find yourself floored by the ghost of something that happened five years ago. I hope you read the news about horrible systematic misogyny in entertainment and politics and business and feel a gut-wrenching fear that you are no different, that you are just a number, a statistic, that you have fallen into the tired history of men who take advantage of women, despite your best efforts not to.
    I hope you never find peace.
    I hope you go slowly and completely bald.
    Go fuck yourself,
    – J

    To the one, who even in darkness shines like moon.

    by  • November 14, 2017 • 0 Comments

    You are going to disappear from my life just like my fb, wattpad and whatsapp top chat 🙂
    Im not complaining but i miss you already 😀
    I wish imet you before your bestie did :P. I mean i wish we met before we were this wreckage ????
    I wish so hard
    But someone said, wishing does not do anything 😛 true.
    So i know i can’t call you my baby but
    ML..i wish i could send this rn. Its just a click away.
    I wish i could tell you,
    I love you
    But that would mean destroying you
    Our families

    And if my love is going to destroy everything if expressed
    I will keep it
    You could not handle my care and friendship sweet heart. You won’t be able to handle this.

    So may be
    I want you to be happy with her.
    Go back to her.
    Forget me.
    Best? Block me or talk to me formally like only when you need something :))) and set both of us free of this
    I promise i won’t blame you .


    Your sincerely

    A flower


    by  • November 14, 2017 • 0 Comments

    In my culture/tribal clans back in the olden days if a man really liked you he would kidnap you, send a dowry of cattle to your parents and you would be as good as traditionally married.

    Others would send their uncles to speak to your parents then cattle would be brought into the kraal and if you did not like the man you would go naked into the kraal and take the cattle out yourself as a sign of refusal. Or you would just plain refuse the uncles would go back and tell you what happened.

    Luckily we dont live in that Era anymore

    But I dont know, I am partial to the kidnapping part and sending the cattle dowry to my parents

    I wish you would do that to me, lol and to top it off I would help you pack my stuff, lol

    But if I help you that would mean we are eloping, so technically you wouldnt be kidnapping me, huh, lol!

    So yeah, heres to fantasies hoping they would come true

    I would like to know what your ancestors used to do

    Love you my head clean shaven, brown eyed, cute ears, scar on chin below lip and dimpled cheeks mogatsaka

    ;x Tony

    Rantings of a woman in love

    What I couldn’t say today

    by  • November 14, 2017 • 0 Comments

    Hey you,
    I am afraid when the day comes to give you answer I don’t know what to say. I’m starting to feel lost again. I went from knowing what I want to not know again so fast that I can’t remember when it happen. People all my life always leave and yes they come back but i never know for how long, that I stop putting faith in them so I don’t feel no pain. Today it happened, the day where you made me not believe in you again. Why?, because I thought maybe this could be perfect again and just maybe you would give me the light I once seen in you and for a moment the light started closing in me. I’m hurt as I wrote this because I begin to question the future you talked about and when will it come crashing down on me. So, I am writing this letter just to tell you that, I am going on my own journey. I love you and will remain with you but until I can see that light again, I must take my own path to prepare for the worst to come.

    Hope you prove me wrong. L

    i’m an ugly girl

    by  • November 14, 2017 • 0 Comments

    i am an ugly girl. i am 16, a student, a huge book nerd, and ugly. it’s what i use to describe myself. when i say this, it’s not for pity or fishing for compliments, its what i say alongside the fact of my two different colored eyes and freckled skin. i will never be a girl that boys chase. i will never be a girl that other girls are envious of. i’m not happy about it, but i think by now i have accepted it. i have accepted that every time i like a boy, i will be greeted by heartbreak because nobody will see me differently. don’t believe me? the last boy i liked pretended to be gay so that he wouldn’t have to talk to me. oh and he very much likes girls, just not ugly ones. i don’t really know why this is such a thing for me, but i can’t get over my looks. i know that i probably won’t die alone and love isn’t the most important thing in this world. but for now, as a 16 year old girl, my terrible looks will be a source of insecurity as all of my friends are dating and i am crying myself to sleep

    oops i caught feelings

    by  • November 14, 2017 • 0 Comments

    i don’t know what it was exactly that happened, but somehow it hit me hard and shook my whole world. whenever i fell for you, everything inside my brain had changed. but unfortunately for me, i was the only one of us that felt it. once you decided that the games you played were no longer fun, that’s when i felt it the most. i sat waiting for a text that i knew was never coming. i kept hoping for a conversation that you were never planning to have. and now that it’s been awhile, and my heart has had the chance to heal, i still feel it, except now it’s just a dull pain. where i once got butterflies and heart palpitations at the sound of your name, now i just get a stomachache. yet still, every time i get a notification, i secretly hope it’s you. because at the end of the day, i would let you break my heart all over again. i’ll never mean much to you, i’m just another option. but you… you’re my weakness