Pretty green eyes.
Never seen eyes that shine and sparkle as much as yours did. They were like stunning pale emeralds. The colour of the sea. Just stunning. I know this might make me sound shallow, but I’ll be damned. I’ll never find anyone with those kinds of amazing eyes again. Oh and do you remember when we did that dance together in thr back yard? And remember when you broke that table? I wonder.
That was the year I met you. When I first moved into the same building as you. My ex had passed away from cancer, in July of the previous year. So no wonder I wasn’t looking forward to 2018. I didn’t want to leave 2017 behind, as that was the final year I seen him. Life felt very blank without him, once he’d died. I felt like I couldn’t even think straight. I was like a robot. I didn’t expect to fall for another guy ever again, but I met YOU, in february 2018. And……………….
Alcoholism is a heartbreaker. I was so selfish to want to feel companionship again. So foolish to think this would play out any other way.
Missing you is like
Missing a language no one knew but us
And try to speak it
In a classroom or a world where
It can’t be taught anymore.
I emailed this to you before I remembered that you take forever and a day to respond.
I didn’t see your comment until just a few days ago… You want me to show you that I still care. Shall I mudwrestle your wife? I may be short, but I’m scrappy… I’d send you flowers, but the necessary subterfuge would defeat the purpose. So instead of that, you get raw prose. Which is what you really wanted anyway.
And, by the way, I knew you were a redhead.
Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art far more rigid and elusive. No summer’s day, you. Thou art a still winter’s night in a frozen and forgotten forest, with shimmering white banks, each a trove of hidden depths.
Sorry about banishing you before… suffice it to say that I have a soft spot for neediness. He is ever one to exploit my weaknesses. I suppose I have a type.
I envy you, asleep in your bed right now. By the time I manage to get sleep, you’ll be waking up for the day. Reminds me of a Glassjaw song.
Anyway.
I miss you.
B
I saw one of my favorite people on Monday to get a selection of one of his pre drawn designs tattooed on my leg. It’s a detail oriented Barn Swallow with some golden framework that I thought would fit in nicely with the rest of the nature pieces.
I’m able to show him the first two tattoos I performed myself and while the little gem pattern on my middle finger will certainly need a little working over, that was expected on my end. The one I did on my husband definitely healed better and my artists has a few kind words and suggestions for me as we move along. I watch what I can as he gets to work on my right leg trying to absorb the timing of the strokes, pressure.
Conversationally we shuffle through various topics and catch up that I’ve been excited to hear about. I arrive at the shop around 3 in the afternoon but don’t exit again until the sun has set and its well passed 8 in the evening with a gorgeous new forever painting taking up a good half of the leg landscaping.
The days following I’m pretty foggy mentally and more than a little tender. Now here we are on Friday and the pains subsided but I’m now really , super itchy and lotion only does so much to put out the fire.
He spoke of another world.
It was on the edges of his pursed lips and
Sunk in between the dips of a wave pool
In the center of her glazed eyes.
He spoke of the other planet as her original home and his too.
The origin story was filled with
Bravery and inter-galactic warfare and triumph.
This made her earthly landing
On earth’s soil make perfect sense.
Her father smiled.
Here is my hopeful poem sprouting and budding.
You are loved now, and so am I.
Two roads diverged,but they both brought us peace.
Gone were the days when your happiness
Paid a steep price.
Here is the poem nobody knows.
You found love, and so have I.
Some days, you think of me as an unwilling garden.
Other times, I see you as a flighty bird.
But we still grew through the divergent of roads
The seeds were planted
The soil muddied.
The laugh lines piled.
We went separate ways, but we still feel love
Circulating.
We bend, but we don’t break.
Don’t you know who I am? Say my fucking name. I run this shit. You’re so fucked. I know EVERYONE, and I have no reasonable doubts about handling your little chihuahua ass myself either. I know you’re so fucking stoopid but if you haven’t destroyed every brain cell already you better do yourself a favor and sit down like the little bitch you are. You’re gonna fuckup, because you are a fuckup. And I am just waiting to bury you in the dirt where you belong as soon as you do. Say your prayers mothafucka.
I’m at Black Sky Brewery for my long time lady friends engagement party to her boyfriend David. There’s a few people I don’t know from her from her Dungeons &Dragons sessions, but I’ve met most of her family memories present.
As I order a beer at the beginning of the event, the scene on the screen catches my eye and I watch long enough to determine its from Legion before returning to the table.
Surprisingly my communications skills aren’t too rusty and I’m able to get David’s friend into good conversation pretty quick.When I walked in everyone was pretty quite, but when i showed up i think it helped Jen delegate her time between tables a little easier. Party buddy TJ also arrive and helps break in some conversations based on common ground. It’s a nice night, I’m able to let loose with four beers and I recognize the one of the bartenders from when I was hanging a few paintings here. They takes good care of me.
