deja Vu

She’s alot like you. Younger than you when we met. Less mature, based on some of the sacrifices you took upon yourself that made you grow up real fast. But otherwise theres alot of similarities. She also alternates between hot and cold on a moments notice, doing her damndest to push me away the second things start getting good, or too real. She also takes out all her anger against all the shitty men in her life on me, although, with her, I deserve it even less, because I definitely was dumb and immature when you knew me. Slightly less dumb and immature now. Mostly though, when things are good, theyre really good. But thats not that often. Usually things are bad, and when they are theyre really bad. Nonetheless, even with all the red flags, I feel like this is my chance to finally get right all the things I fucked up with you. Or at least answer all the questions I’ve always had about whether we would’ve worked out if I met you earlier, before you became so JADED. My failure with you has never stopped haunting me; maybe this is how I get the closure and peace I so desperately need, since its pretty clear you’ll never actually give me that. She’s dangerous though, and while you routinely humiliated me in front of my friends and made me feel like shit for years, I’m worried she’s gonna get me arrested or killed. Maybe thats even inevitable, some kind of disastrous outcome for me. But at least I’ll know I went down fighting a good fight.

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