Category: To You

Hey, it’s me. All went wrong. I know. We will never fix it. I know.

Happy Birthday D ! Stay blessed 🙂

With a few good memories…that’s all we are now.
I do think it’s a shame, but I don’t look back on a situation where I was totally undervalued.

In the deep waters of my mind,

I miss the brazen talk, and

The polished, insult to injury humor.

I miss the long stares hiding small grimaces

And laugh lines skewed by stoic gazes.

I miss the parenting that I didn’t ask for

That helped me solve mystic puzzles.

I miss the teaching, the off beat humor, the quick witticisms

And gentle guidance.

Mostly tonight although he would probably never believe it,

I miss Mark.

I blamed it on timing, parallel worlds, distant stars

And the difficulty from rivers to unpaved roads to you.

I came up with every theory and every metaphor

Blaming it on being a prisoner of my own secret garden

Calling our timing different seasons

And asking you to forget about the Old World and enter the New.

I idolized you until my heart bled dry

Then I recognized your flaws and what I hated most about you

And the scar tissue grew and I loved you even more.

I showed up every day through rainy weather and turbulent “may days”

To reach you and every day you chose to whistle

Another tune for a brave new start with someone else.

And in the end all I can do is stare at a mirror and state

“It’s all your fault.”

You could never admit you cared.

And I tried more than you ever did and I can live with that.

Can you?

My beautiful, and dazzling girl.

Hope slinks off your fingernails

And you keep throwing it around like confetti

At anyone who could love you.

Oh splendid marvel, elegant being of compact stardust

With hips and sturdy shoulders and tiny tooth-gaped smiles

Don’t you know?

He was never going to love you.