Letters I'll Never Send

Sometimes it breaks out, sometimes it stays quiet. Sometimes you’d think it’s finally cured. And then, when the immune system is weak it suddenly shows up again.

I’ve never felt so wholly or completely loved by anyone else. You see so much of who I am and inspire to me to be better. You are the best person I know, absolutely. You’re generous with your time and energy, you lift people up, you value yourself and remind people of their own worth. Watching you from across the room….it’s so fun to see you light people up with your attention. I love you and would always be by your side if we had found each other first.

Feeling like I’m missing you.
Hoping you miss me too.
Thinking that you probably don’t.
Knowing if you did we’d be closer.
Wanting to be closer.

I loved you in ways that I still don’t understand.
There’s no way back and no road forward.
You’d get it if you heard that.
Some type of personal understanding I think we’ve shared.
Some connection that still breathes.
Across space and time.
Take care.

Dear You,
I still think of you all the time. I miss you so much. Not sure if you think of me, even if at all but I’ve had you on my mind, lately.

Mom told me that it appears you are no longer with your wife and I feel bad for you, honestly. I know the type of guy you are and I know you’re hurting because you have not been able to see your children. Either way, I pray that you can work it out with your ex-wife to co-parent effectively and move on, respectfully.

I just keep asking myself what happened? Wishing I could talk to you. I still check my email every day to see if you’ll reach out. I am ready when you are to speak.

With love,
Love <3

Hey, I know things are really rough right now. There’s a lot that’s changing and you’re scared. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. You’re doing so so good, you’re handling it all well. One day soon you’ll get to come home and take a breath of relief that it’s all over. You accomplished this huge task, by yourself! You planned it all out and you got back up plans. So take a step back, take a deep breath, take a shower and feel clean. You’ve got this, and even if you don’t others got you. You’re gonna be fine.

What you see:
Fearless by Taylor Swift
I Still Believe by Jeremy Camp
You’re Mine by Disturbed
Far from Perfect by Rise Against
What if I was Nothing by All That Remains
Best is Yet to Come by Red
Awake and Alive by Skillet
Speak Life by Toby Mac

What I conceal from you because you can’t handle it:
Heavy by Linkin Park
Popular Monster by Falling in Reverse
Wasted Years by Cold
Given Up by Linkin Park
Last Resort by Papa Roach
I Won’t See You Tonight Part 1 by Avenged Sevenfold
I Refuse by Five Finger Death Punch
Masochist by Polaris
Low by I Prevail
I’ll Be Gone by Linkin Park
Away from the Sun by 3 Doors Down
There’s Something Dark by Dustin Kensrue
Changes by 3 Doors Down
Deteriorate by Demon Hunter
Burning in the Skies by Linkin Park
Nothing Makes Sense Anymore by Mike Shinoda
Into Despair by Currents
Would It Matter by Skillet
Means to Believe by Oh, Sleeper
Breaking Down by I Prevail
Blood by Breaking Benjamin
I Don’t Belong Here by I Prevail
Resentment by A Day to Remember
All Fucked Up by Amity Affliction
Left Behind by Hollow Front