Life Isn’t Fair

I THOUGHT I WAS READY TO GET REJECTED. I’ve LOVED YOU FOR SOOO LONG. YOU’VE BEEN GONE FOR SO LONG YET I’m STILL HERE STUCK ON YOU STUPID.. THAT NIGHT. I ASKED YOU TO MEET ME AT THE PARK.. YOU DROVE PAST ME… I THOUGHT YOU WERE DONE WITH ME COMPLETELY I THOUGHT YOU JUST DIDN’T CARE AND I WAS RELIEVED!!! BUT AS SOON AS I WAS ABOUT TO LEAVE, YOU KALLED ME… I GUESS I WAS IN THE WRONG PARKING LOT. SO YOU KAME TO ME… WE TALKED. WHY COULDN’T YOU HAVE TOLD ME YOU DIDN’T MISS ME. WHY COULDN’T YOU SAY THAT I WASN’T IMPORTANT TO YOU? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST KEEP DRIVING AWAY? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST DITCH ME. I WAS READY FOR IT. I WAS READY FOR REJECTION.  I WASN’T READY FOR WHAT YOU TOLD ME. I WASN’T READY FOR YOU TO TELL ME YOU LOVED ME I WASN’T READY FOR YOU TO TELL ME YOU MISSED ME AND I WAS DEFINATELY NOT READY FOR YOU TO TELL ME TO NEVER STAY AWAY FOR THAT LONG. I’m CONFUSED.  I KNOW I LOVE YOU. SO WHAT SHOULD I TELL MY BOYFRIEND?
LMEC

Dear Nobody…

i can’t imagine my life with out you as my ally…the only one that understands me and my fucked up view on life. one of the days i wish you answered me…sometimes i feel clear of danger and go on about my existence but some how you manage to pull me back in…i feel like a pillow is trashed upon my face as you hold me down…take my breath and take my life…then once again its clear air comes back into my lungs and its gone, that need, that feeling. i feel stupid for having pretend strength…a facade i put on for daliy life every morning like makeup…i wonder do you do the same? what does it matter though!!!!!honestly! i feel like an ass!!!!!!!!!!! here i go again obsessing over, nothing…absolutly nothing…and i know this but yet i cant stop…like a crack head searching for a fix…daydreaming away… envisioning life as it should be…i block things out but remember everything…why do i hold grudges on everyone even people ive never met…but i block out things that i should never ever forget about you…
sincerely,
tuesday