Category: To You

Look, I went to the dentist this morning and just to get you caught up to speed I haven’t been since about 2018 or so, since before COVID, since before I moved to Norwalk from Stamford. But you really need to go to the dentist every six months, okay? So I finally went today and I got a good report, no cavities, and they took pictures and everything, and with my dental insurance it didn’t cost me anything out of pocket, okay? So you really should go if you haven’t. I know some people who never go to the dentist. Are you one of them? What are you afraid of? Are you afraid that the dentist is going to rip your teeth out and stuff them up your ass one by one? Because that’s not going to happen, I can almost guarantee that won’t happen to you! Why don’t you go to the dentist, fuck face? Why haven’t you been in years, you absolute goon? What are you waiting for? Are you waiting for your nasty rancid teeth to rot right out of your skull? Go to the dentist and tell them you are sick of having your breath smell like an unwashed butt hole!

You have no idea of what’s going on inside of me. You never did.

Your first apology ever. Heard better, more of a passive-aggressive attack, but still, progress.

I’m sorry if I hurt you. Don’t you ever wonder again if you hurt me. It’s over and it’s okay. Goodbye.

Someday you’ll think about me. And realize it was your fault. That you never gave me a chance. That you placed insane expectations on me without contributing literally anything to my life. That every time I needed you, you were nowhere to be found, and every time you needed someone, I was there for you but you turned to someone else. You’ll feel a little regret. Like wow, I really handled that poorly. That will last about 5 mins then youll get back to feeling great about yourself. You won’t have YEARS of fucking pain and misery that will probably never go away like me. You won’t have constant feelings of inadequacy stemming from being treated like you’re worthless over and over. You won’t find yourself sleeping 18 hours a day because it’s hurts so bad when you’re awake and sober and can’t stop thinking about how you put in so much time and effort and really loved someone and just got spit on and ignored and abandoned. So thanks for all that. And nothing else, because that’s all you left me with.

I hope you’re feeling alright.

Me and some of my friends were chatting about how fitting it would be, if I died on either Halloween day this year, or on the same day that we’re going to Peter’s funeral, which will be tomorrow. Seeing as both events are about spirits and ghost’s. It did make me laugh a lot. They are right, though. Ha ha.

You have the most beautiful smile. Its my favorite thing about you. Nothing made me happier than when I knew I put it there. Smile for me baby. If I cant see it in person I can at least see it in my mind’s eye.

You’re so selfish. SO selfish. I’m thinking of moving into a different apartment in a different corridor, because what’s the point of me still living opposite you, when you’re acting as if you never knew me? What the hell am I supposed to think? It’s not as if I’m assuming that you’re still talking to me, seeing as you haven’t text me or phoned me for quite a while. I don’t appreciate being used. You only wanted me to spend time with you when YOU wanted company. Never mind about how you ignoring me makes me feel. That’s not important. I will try to not be present at the Halloween party on Sunday, because I don’t want to end up bumping into you. It will be awkward, but only because you’ve made it feel like this. You make me feel like I mean nothing to you. I feel so violated by you. In fact, I’m not even sure that you’re that approachable. I’m not sure if my “friendship” with you was ever a genuine friendship, as you’re not even giving me a reason as to why you suddenly stopped getting in touch. Maybe I’m not meant to find out why. Well I hope you’re proud of the crappy way that you’re now treating me. You aren’t the respectful person you made out you were. Everyone is nice at first. You complain that no-one wants to be around you, when actually YOU’RE the culprit to blame. Not everyone else. You will never grow up. You will always be a little boy. Even though your thirty years old. If you’re never going to at least TRY to talk to me properly about it, then you are going to lose the bester friend you could EVER have in me. You are coming across as bitter, angry, and not giving a damn. Fix your ways or shut up complaining that people don’t appreciate you. You know fine well what you’re doing. And please stop with that fake politeness of yours. It’s getting stupid. You chose to not get in touch with me anymore. I guess I’ll never know why. Get on with it and stay away from me. It’s not that difficult to stay away from me. Anyway you always just walk past me without saying hi, but you say hi to others? Very mature. Not. Go your own way. It must be what you want.