Category: To You

last year was the loneliest I have ever felt. I rly hope there is someplace for me to see you guys again, but I don’t think so. it’s been hell, knowing that I had something that I wanted for a long time, then to have it ripped apart from me. I hate you guys. I know I’m being selfish but I hate not being able to talk to you. I hate having to be OK, I don’t want to be. I hate that I won’t get to introduce you to D. she is rly great and I know you would rly like her. but that’s for another time. evey time I’m watching a movie or a series or anything with the smallest amount of friendship in it I start crying. I rly miss you guys and I rly want to see you again.

My husband is back to work after a few days recovery from his vasectomy. Unfortunately for me and the kid that means the car is also with him , so we’re walking to school. She was supposed to have a ninja warrior obstacle course today to replace field day but they bumped it to next week on account of the weather, which is actually better for us because her father gets to attend then too.

At first it’s just cloudy with a drizzle, but not even halfway there and it turns into a torrential downpour. It’s not completely unpleasant but I worry for my kids health in the aftermath.

Our luck looks up though when one of the moms I see at dropoff/pickup every day stops and asks us if we need a ride. I accept her offer and it gives us a few moments for pleasant introductions and whatnot. I appreciate her kindness, and truth be told it’s a much preferred type of interaction than to the over parent fights or degradations shouted at me by teen boys, maybe this could be a catalyst to other good things. Even if not though, I feel like this at least helps tip the scales back into balance.

I walk home in the rain, a sopping mess when I get home but overall happier and work on some of the american traditional drafts I’ve been trying my hand at. I have a mountain of other projects I need to complete but it’s still movement in a productive direction.

I tried to understand you. You never took the chance to explain your behaviour. You had a chance. Not only one.

He probably tells his friends
That loser can’t get over me
Well maybe if you hadn’t been
All over me and inside of me
When I was fast asleep

I wouldn’t be thinking about you
Day and night
And day and night
And night and night and night and night
Because that’s when I’m most vulnerable
At night

I always said my favorite thing
Was going to sleep
Why did you have to ruin my peace
So I’d wake up and see you on top of me
Thrusting and saying “you like that baby?”

How could I like that
I wasn’t conscious
I wasn’t there and I didn’t know
That mumbling nothings while I was asleep
Wasn’t enough of a clear no

For you

And now I am stuck
At night at night
Thinking of you and feeling sick to my gut
For giving you a moment of my thoughts
At night at night at night

In the case of a naughty pet or child, sometimes even a wayward parent,friend, or lover .I do not expect to trust them but I love them anyway. Sometimes trust is taught, sometimes in order to appreciate the beauty of a particular friendship you have to accept the nature of the individual and secure the foundation through other means.

Dear G,

I have spent the past 2 years confused and questioning why our friendship broke off so quickly. Did I do something wrong? Was I a little too honest with you? I’ll never know.

I only ever wanted the very best for you. I was happy for you when you told me 2 years ago you’d met someone. I know you wanted someone in your life for so long. But things moved quickly and within a few weeks of knowing each other you moved out, going a joint account, joint car and a dog. I just wanted to make sure you weren’t moving to quickly, and you asked for my honest opinion on the situation. So I gave it to you… like you asked. As a good friend would do. But then again, you cut all your friends out too didn’t you.

You left my life for some reason I will never seem to understand. You were my best friend, the person who I would trust, and eventually one day ask to be my maid of honour. I never
imagined our lives would drift apart and feel like strangers.

So, my old friend, I am closing off this chapter in our lives and am saying goodbye. It hurts to finally close this but I can only hope you are doing well in your home with your boyfriend. I wish you all the best for the future.

E

Millions and millions of girls staring at you through your live stream. Staring at you, but not seeing the real you. Only seeing you as they want to imagine you. It gives them such happiness. I don’t know the real you, either. Your eyes tell, but none of us can read their message.

The young psycho was screaming out the car window at me again. “Fuck you bitch!” I don’t see the kid but I reckon it’s the the same dark curly hair from the previous harassments as school was ending. I should have been better prepared to get plates recorded but I didn’t.

I’m not the only parent hes done it to, but it seems like he’s getting more aggressive, and as he’s always a passenger, so I know there’s more than one of him. It seems likely even if they aren’t encouraging the behavior, they’re supporting it by allowing it to persist.