Category: Thoughts

Spring break

And we get it kicked of with a prehistorically good time, taking a visit to the Jurassic World exhibit at the National Western Complex. It was a short but sweet display of how far animatronics have come in time, giving the impression of being up close and personal with a blinking, roaring Tyrannosaurus and it’s fabricated relative the Indominus Rex. My kids favorite part was the creation lab with the baby dinos, the detail they put into the baby dino puppets really delighted the little adventures in our group. It’s a pleasant distraction from the other news we have coming in right now.

My husband’s grandma gives him a call from Russia, he’s pretty grim talking about. By her own account , his grandma supports the war on the Ukraine, giving the impression that Russian troops are only there to ‘help’,, but this is already after the time when speaking against the war on Russian soil is prohibited and penalized. I’ve heard more from Putin talking that crazy talk about caste systems and bloodline superiority, even though I read that Facebook has been banned in Russia itself I still catch posts here and there from Russian artists I’m friends online with. It’s possible they’re using proxy servers but I don’t actually know but in some ways I get more or at least different news from all these folks over the battle of opinions I see broadcasted on the side by side news channels that I see at the gym. My husband shows me a vk video of a burnt out Russian military truck and there’s body parts strewn about around it, the camera pans to the ground and an ass that’s laying on the ground unattached to any torso or legs. Giving me a whole different perspective to the phrase “Hold onto your butts.”

Tuesday my husband gets a day to hang out with his work buddies. They enjoy some mushrooms and getting silly for a few hours. It sounds like a much needed bit of laughter for the hubs and all in a safe setting. As an added bonus , he came own with a big bag of fungi for us to split when we have bits of appropriate time over the next few months, we might enjoy a nice walkabout when we visit my folks next month and have grandparent childcare available.

War is hell

Baba Liza went back to Russia in October, after spending her birthday with family there she had plans to return to my husband’s family this summer, but now it seems almost certain that will not happen.
My husband still has many family members in Russia, and friends from his youth that he keeps in touch with on VK. He tells me many of them are afraid what is going to happen to them now, he tells me that the majority don’t support what is happening with this invasion of the Ukraine by what he estimates to be about 60% , but those who protest are arrested by the thousands.
Others that do support what’s happening he says do so because the media outlets have depicted Ukranians as abusive to Russians on their soil, but my husband himself says he hasn’t seen any evidence of that himself beyond controlled media. Another girl we know who came to the U.S. from Russia in her teens posts videos on how its somehow the wests fault that this is happening after a 2014 coup, but I personally can not find the link. We fear for his family as the sanctions that are implemented by not only the U.S but other countries form a sort of noose that will choke the citizens before the oligarchs feel the weight of their actions.
I follow thousands of artists on Instagram, a few of them who are in the epicenter of the invasion share the devastation that is occurring all around them. Bombs dropping, buildings burning, charred husks of human remains , people being ran over by tanks, children murdered. The few gunshots I heard outside our home pale in comparison to this.
The countries that surround them have begun posturing for the inevitability of a larger war with applications to Nato and increased defense spending, vowing to provide the Ukraine with more munitions for defense. My auntie in aromatic who works in psychiatry has taken a personal position with refugees seeking sanctuary . My former coworker who hails from Moldova was at the local protests and is raising money for refugees. Russian artists I follow publicly denounce what is happening before their access to Facebook communications are cut from within. I read that hacks are tracking the oligarchs and displaying their movements on Twitter.
Belarus and Chechnya are set to aid Russia on the ground as China sends its own signals by flying warplanes over Taiwan. I read that China actually halted the evacuations of its own people in the Ukraine to wait until its safe and I suspect that has something to do with a demonstration of allyship before they proceed with a larger collaboration.
My husband got his citizenship before we got married and things as they are now prove that to have been a prudent decision.

God bless Sparky

I’m leaving the grocery store, walking towards my car with my cart. I hear a little doggy barking by the entrance. It looks like he or maybe she (it’s was dark so I’ll call it Sparky) has a tag but maybe not. Now I’m putting my groceries in my trunk, Sparky is barking at everyone leaving the store. This is a tiny little dog, idk maybe some kind of chihuahua mix, not something that could cause serious harm to humans. To me it looks like Sparky is just scared and looking for help. I pray his humans are also at the store and will return to Sparky soon. I finish packing my groceries in the trunk and start heading back to cart return. I see Sparky about to cross a busy street. I stop, God please don’t let Sparky get run over. Sparky makes it across to the other side, looks back and keeps barking. I resume taking my cart back, I see a little boy who was just as fixated on Sparky’s crossing as I was. He gets it, right? Nope jk, now he’s shouting at Sparky to shut up. I feel like I have to do something. I pick up that little shit and yeet him across the street for Sparky to feast on. No, I didn’t do that, but his mom did tell him to chill.

As I returned to my car, I could see Sparky, just across the street, still barking. This is what I needed to do though I didn’t understand why at the time. Instead of going straight home I parked in the opposite parking lot and got out. Sparky ran away. I followed Sparky down the alley towards the next block but every time I got within 50 feet or so Sparky ran further away. I realized I couldn’t catch Sparky, but I had chased Sparky out of an empty alley towards a bar and food truck, so hopefully someone could do better and get Sparky home. I went back to my car and drove home.

As I did, a thought occurred, why did this all bother me like this and hours later still does? Surely, I’ve seen a stray dog running around before and not even cared if it had a tag. Sparky belonged somewhere, right? No doubt someone out in this world was trying their hardest to get Sparky back. That’s when I realized. Maybe Sparky didn’t belong anywhere. Or maybe, where Sparky thought it belonged, no one actually wanted Sparky there. I’m probably projecting on a chihuahua mix a little here but that’s when it made sense to me. Sparky is either lost or unwanted. And I’ve felt like both for so long.

God bless Sparky.