I can’t take much more of this. Your ghetto fucking fantasy life. Like you can’t go two weeks without some catastrophe happening that would’ve been super easy to avoid if you cared at all about yourself or making progress in your life. I know you’re not supposed to tell people they need to change, but you fucking do. I’m so sick of watching you piss your entire life away. Sure you say all the right things, everything I want to hear….there’s just never any substance, no action reflective of any commitment to self-improvement. It doesnt matter how many podcasts or books you go thru, you keep making the same shockingly stupid decisions you’ve been making for like a third of your life now, and then bitching about all the consequences. Like you know you’d still get attention, at least from me, even if you don’t act like a helpless fucking child right? You care about your sobriety right? Why did you renew your lease down the block from your dealer and continue to associate with addicts on a daily basis. Sorry babe, you’re not that strong. You’ve proven that time and time again. I have been as patient as I possibly could be, but you just don’t get it. This most recent situation, still ongoing…you know I thought you might be dead? And I’m going to work everyday, my incredibly stressful job, just trying to hold it together when my girlfriend is basically a missing person and I can’t even call the cops. And it took you a fucking week to let me know you’re alive???? Even at that, still being mad shady, acting like everything is fine and normal. Nothing about your life or behavior is normal. I mean the truth is I’m pretty sure I know exactly what’s happening, the same thing that always happens with you. Things are good with us so you run away, back to what you know and makes you comfortable, cuz God forbid you actually tried to stick it out in a healthy relationship for once. I’m so sick of your lies and your excuses. I really need you to grow up and mature, like even baby steps are fine, but some progress, and sooner rather than later. I lied to you recently too, saying you were good for my mental health. Nah, I’ve been fucking losing my shit for months because of you and your inconsideration and helplessness. I can’t take much more. This is your last chance out of this life, please seriously take it.