Dad threw out my ZooBooks

I think it’s part of growing up here, part of Life in These United States (as Reader’s Digest might put it) – a rite of passage as it were. We all remember that day when we were sitting in our rooms minding our own business, and then out of nowhere dad comes storming in with a look of ire on his face, says to you “I’ve had enough of this tiger shit” and gathers up all of your ZooBooks and throws them in the garbage, forbidding you from fishing them out. But dad all I wanted to do was learn about these beautiful animals you said, as tears filled your eyes. Don’t go crying to your mother either, he said, I already told her this was going to happen like it or not and she isn’t going to save your precious ZooBooks this time. But daddy please can I at least keep the one with the zebras on the cover you pleaded, because that was the one that also had a three-page article on toucans with some really nice pictures, and your dad said for Christ’s sakes you’re a 28 year old man, get the hell out of my house and find a job already.

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