Trying to love salty tears
And less of hopeless causes.
Trying to love new music
And forget ballroom dance routines.
Trying to love what is placed in front of me
Instead of looking in the rear view.
Trying to get rid of Nostalgia
While making out with her right now.
Trying to saw off the parts of me
That loved and lost
And keep a lid on the madness that comes
With caring so deeply and recklessly.
Mostly, trying to time warp
To a beautiful centerfold
Where it all makes sense to me
And I am not left in the dark.
Someone said darkness can be a gift.
I wonder if they ever thought like me
That darkness is where
A star relearns what makes this
Dull throbbing, ordinary fucked up place, absolutely
All I have known are lessons taught over and over again
And somehow I can’t read the fine print.
Trying to make the Last 10 years
Seem less like wasteless paper with scribbles written on it
And more like a beautiful mold
That built me.
I just can’t see it now.