Telling you I loved you was the stupidest mistake of my life, in one way. It meant no more you, I could have kept silent, never let you know, and then, well then I could have been seeing you all the time, in reality if I had done that, undoubtedly we would be good friends, but then the part of telling you that was right, was it meant, no more you.
You see yesterday I dreamt of you, we did get together in my dream and yes it was perfect, obviously since it was a dream.
But if you were in my life I know still the agony of it, for of course no you wouldn’t love me too, you cannot suddenly find me attractive, and yet if you did, just as I knew then, I cannot betray someone, I was with someone then, and whilst I told you, I never could have caused that heartbreak, and so I knew it was as well you did not love me, because then what?
And over time I have considered that, would I have left everything to be with you?
Whatever way I don’t have to wonder, both because you don’t and never were going to love me, and it is too late. You hated me for telling you, and no doubt being with not the least attraction, it was always inconceivable, but me, I have had no change in all this time, you are still everything that anyone could want, and I am in no doubt that if dreams came true-Not the kind like I had yesterday, but the “Be with me forever” dream, that life would be all I could ask for.
You were then absolutely all I could ever want, not one thing is different.
But it is as it is, life goes on and to my last day I will still feel that way.
I hope actually you found someone to have that from, I want that for you, I want to believe they wake up and see everything good and perfect and are grateful for the fact they can look at you and say “I love you” and to hear you say it back.
Some people dream of untold wealth, maybe they have sexual fantasies, maybe any number of things, me? Waking up beside you, or sat on the grass under a tree next to you, looking at you and just saying it and hearing it, and holding you close.
Let that be what life is for you at least, you deserve it.