V

The big day is upon us. More on you I guess. At this point I hope I am the last thing you are thinking about. Really not at all. I hope you don’t feel any regret. You’re making the right decision, the best decision of your life, and if I was in your white shoes I would do the exact same thing.

You questioned my love, but it is real. I never claimed to love you before I knew it was indisputably true. Unfortunately, as I’ve learned, love alone isn’t enough, and you can fall in love with more than one person in a lifetime. When I realized I had lost you, I swore I wouldn’t be diplomatic, I would fight and scream and gnash and claw til my dying breath. But the truth is none of that changes the fact that I had lost you, and for good.

Only in my wildest dreams about the person I actually am did I ever deserve someone as ethereal as you. It would have been a crime against all that is beautiful and pure in this world for you to settle for someone like me, with all my insecurities and demons. And still I hoped. Hoped that you could elevate me to what you deserved. That would never have worked.

The truth is….I’m not special, at least, not like you are. Special isn’t the genes you’re born with, or what people lead you to believe about your place in this world comparatively to all others; special is what you make of yourself from where you started, despite or in spite of all the obstacles one invariably faces in life. I’m proud of you and your journey, a lot prouder than I am of me and mine own.

You have so many great things ahead of you. Forget about me, now and for always, lest even my memory in any way hold you back in the slightest from all the amazing things coming your way that you deserve. I love you, and wish you the sincerest happiness for the rest of your days.

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