The end of 1220

My dear wife,

This is the most painful feeling in the world. Saying goodbye to 10 years of marriage almost 11. Saying goodbye to our jokes and your smile. Saying goodbye to what May have been. I’m sorry I failed you and was never truly present. I’m sorry it caused you too drink and think someone else could make you happy and satisfy you. I want the best for you. If it’s not me then it will hurt but I will accept it. I have always loved you unconditionally. I have never judged you for your mistakes. You just could never get over mine and had to turn to others to shield your heart from me. I get it. It’s easy when you have people around you who just want to suck the happy from you because they are miserable. Your friend is always looking for guys so of course if you’re with her why wouldn’t you be too? It sucks that in a matter of weeks you changed your mind because I needed space and time. I didn’t turn to women. I turned to friends and drinking. Yes drinking wasn’t smart but I never wanted anyone else. Just you. You made it clear that you don’t care. You just want love no matter where it comes from. I hope he treats you well. I hope you’re happy. Goodbye forever. Because I have no hope we will ever be together again. Your lost hope on being able to fix this is exactly what let’s me know…. We won’t. My heart breaks, so much more than it was before.

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