Like in my own abyss of debt.
I don’t even know when it started to get bad.
I mishandled credit.
I’ve made terrible decisions and got my ass handed to me every single time.
Im disappointed in myself too.
Left several jobs, relied on credit, and recklessly bought things unnecessarily.
I fucked myself.
I can’t even begin to think about paying student loans when I graduate. I’ve put off graduating for years and failed classes. Racked up over 90k in debt and I’m not even 30.
I keep thinking to myself that maybe I’ll catch a check from music or maybe get rich somehow.
Like, “oh I’ll just pay that later.”
Then I think that maybe I could just OD to escape when the time is right.
I know it’s completely psycho and I realize I have issues…
Im honestly just…
Lying to myself.