Wishes spent that you wouldn’t burn me

I miss you.

It doesn’t matter, knowing that you weren’t good for me, or my self-esteem and self-worth, for that matter.

It felt as if you were the one to break things off. After processing this feeling for awhile, I realize it’s because you hadn’t really given me any other option.

There are so many things that I love about you. Your silliness, your sense of humor, your generosity, the way you felt, your nervous tics. I wanted to be able to withstand your downfalls enough to hold onto these pieces of you forever. In a way, I will hold onto those pieces of you forever. Who knew that the shortest lived romance would impact me the greatest. I still smile when I think about you. I still water our $0.50 plant, and I’ll think of you when she blooms. I don’t mind giving the ring back because it means one more time to see you. Even when I’m stone-faced in your presence, know that I’m absolutely crumbling inside.

I’m sorry about the birthday plans. I’m sorry about ending things. I just needed to feel safe again.

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