I have always had a thing about you. You’re impossible to please. You’re the bad one. The one who has all the qualities but you’re also a f up. You’re my one that got away.. and you went down this path of horrible consequences. I would have given so much to be yours. I believed in it, dreamt of it, prayed for it. The first time I saw you I thought “yep they will be mine” and you were but you were also always out of reach. I’ll never know if it was me. You’ve apologized more times than I can count. I never can believe it. I wont ever believe it. I have a note in my phone of you telling me you loved me. And I read it sometimes and wonder how true it really is or ever was. I wish I could have been what you wanted before you ruined your life. I wish things could have been the way i wanted. I hear songs on the radio and think of you. I have this weird connection where I can literally FEEL when you’re thinking about me… and when you’re going to reach out. I dont know why with you. I wish I could turn it off. I wish the ONE single time we were both available for something it would have worked. Instead you turned into a junkie and left me standing there with a broken heart, a load of doubt about what is wrong with me, and a lot of unanswered questions. Maybe one day things will be different. Maybe not. I do love you though. Deeply. Truly. Stupidly. You taint every relationship I have because all I want is you. Whatever we had, it was powerful and messed me up and continues to.