I wish …

I wish that you still loved me. I wish you weren’t afraid to show me love when it mattered most. I wish you never betrayed me and broke my heart.

You made it easy to let go. I contemplate death often… I feel like I’m ready to die. Yes, I’m depressed..

You have no idea what you mean to me. You have no idea how much I miss you.. how much I care… I love you. But you don’t need me, you don’t want me. You said you hated me and I’ll always remember that.

Crazy how I was so invested in you… love does crazy things to people. I’m glad I’m free from your toxic ways. My heart aches for you sometimes but I miss the girl I fell in love with, not the woman you’ve become. You certainly changed. You probably do deserve better than me but I probably deserve better than you too.

I wish you the best in life, I really do. You were kind of there for me when no one else was… thanks for that. Maybe we’ll be together in another life.

I’ll keep you in my thoughts and in my heart but I won’t linger on what’s lost too much… I gave up on you years ago.

I hope your new man is treating you right and doesn’t cheat on you. He doesn’t love you like I do…that’s for sure.

Bye. We had fun while it lasted but none of it was ever real.

5 thoughts on “I wish …”

    1. No, my thoughts and her childish behavior function completely independently from one other. My feelings for her are real but I never felt she took our relationship seriously, which is why I lost interest. Oh well.. she’s crazy.

  1. In a way I feel like you. Except the „easy to letting go“ an the depressed part. Maybe for women it takes longer to let go. maybe it’s just me.. no matter the many reasons of why it actually should be easy. If you stab the same wound over and over again, so it hurts but doesn’t bleed out, it grows number each time so a dull pain but with keeping too busy to realize that there could be fun instead of work in life – thankfully no depression.
    In my crazy mm relationship, it was always real to me but never real enough.
    Yeah, weird long, ahhh very long and to me deep story not to be real.
    Talk about crazy, lol, it’s my middle name cause I still miss this otherworldly potential we had and the way he made me feel.
    Guess I’m just an Idjit 😊
    Hey, heads up, here is my mantra „ what’s meant for you, will never pass you by“!
    Take care and good vibes on all your ways

    1. Your mantra is stupid. I guess if you really feel that way then we’ll never be together. I’ll never reach out to you after you betrayed me all those years ago. Love takes reciprocity, commitment, and sacrifice on both sides. I honestly don’t even care anymore. Do whatever the fuck you want. Thanks for more than a decade of depression and emptiness. You’re the best!

      1. I’m surely not the woman you were/are referring to, AK. So no need to get worked up.
        I never betrayed him, he is certainly not alone, empt nor depressed and you don’t know my „story“, just as I am not privy to yours. My comment to your post was merely meant to show you, that you are not alone.
        That others, like me, can somewhat relay and wish you healing.
        Sometimes it helps to know that but that’s just me.
        Take care 🙂

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