It hurts me that you are like this, it hurts me that you don’t care about damaging anything, that you damaged my birthday, that I think I won’t be able to love anyone, that I won’t be able to trust anyone, that I don’t know if I can celebrate another birthday, you damaged my ability to recover, and stop having a heart of ice, that I don’t want to have anymore.
Deep down. I want to love someone, I want to love you, I want you to be different and, all this will never happen. I can’t handle the fact that you are like this, that you don’t change, it’s horrible. You mean a lot to me, but we will never be.
I hope you find love again.
I know I won’t find it again.
Only you can change what you think. You are the one in charge. You allow yourself to love or not, not them. Don’t forget this.
You NEVER have to throw your trust out freely. It is smarter not to do that…but I promise you….you will love again.
Some people are just not the right person for you. The sooner you recognize that the better off you will be.
If your needs and wants are not being met then you should cut your losses. Hanging on to wishes and dreams with the wrong person will never get you to your happy place.
I hope your life gets better and you find someone that understands you and meets every desire you have.
You deserve that.
I feel your pain and have floundered in that pool for a long time, too long. Sometimes you find people who don’t speak the same language we speak. What you say is illegible to their ears, their sense’s, their hearts and souls. It is not a shortcoming on your part or on their part, it unfortunately is just an intersection of lives never meant to be. You write as your heart dictates and sadly it is read without the feeling being shared, a hard pill to swallow. It is too easy to blame yourself for the situation when in fact it is a blameless ordeal, just two different views of life and love. So do not hate your other as that is more destructive to you than to them. Do not hate yourself, you are among the incredibly blessed whose heart is directly connected to their eyes and see the beauty of the world and feel the passions of the hearts desires. You are warmth in the winter and the light cool breeze of possibilities in spring. Do not abandon that passion, nurture it, share it, and revel in it. You are truly lucky.