I just want to be close to you
Even if I am only ever near
Even if we never collide
And I am stuck in limbo between low lights
And cross logic puzzles.
I miss you in my lowest moments and my highest highs.
I miss the version of me that grazed your lips
Before winter became a perpetual season,
Before silence was a treasure that seldom came.
I miss you so much looking arounds rooms
Which you are never in.
I miss the days where everything felt beautiful inside me
The doorway to your heart was
Where I could be my most authentic self.
I know its too late
But I don’t think I can fully close the door
On Autumn.
I need to be close even if it isn’t meant to be,
Even if my heart is broken.
Because I loved who I was back then.
Today is the first step on saying goodbye to Winter.