Fourth time around

I’m sorry but I’m not just a warm body for you to confide your secrets and demons in. And I can’t just do the whole shut up and listen….right or wrong I took action I gave my advice I stood by your side. And you inturn consistency hurt me and stabbed me I the back…now it’s the same old story of the scared little girl who needs someone to pay attention, to listen, watch her self destruct and grind their teeth. Because I’m not allowed to express concerns, I’m not allowed to take action. I’m not allowed to love you the real you the sweetheart under you cold jadded and broken women you’ve become from all of your hell…

Fuck it stick your daggers in me make me feel useless, have me feel powerless I will shut up and listen, I will be that whatever you fucking need for the moment. Not for me but because I honestly give a shit about you.

I’ll take the risk the fourth time around just on the bases that I know you’re sorry and I’m sorry too. All I ask is please recognize that I’m human; another tiger trying to change his stripes. And above all I’m trying my best to forgive. Because I still owe you that debt of seeing what about myself I need to change to be happy.

We are the same type of broken and I’m willing to be your friend the 4th time around… however you know I’m no saint and I’m no fool there won’t be a 5th because as much as I love you and appreciate both the honest effort to forgive me and make up for what you’ve done to me…I’m finally at my limit.

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