thank you

Thank you for what you’ve given me.

Among the trauma and the broken trust that I’ve gathered in my time with you, there are some other things I’ve gotten as well – and those are what I’m grateful for. I’ve gotten strength.

Scars are tougher than the skin unmarred, and I am more than scarred – I am tougher than the untouched person I was before.

I’ve become less na├»ve; I viewed the world with the lens that everyone meant the best, and no one would try to hurt me. I don’t believe that anymore; i look at strangers with scrutiny and suspicion, aware of the ways in which people can behave – with a full intent to cause harm.

I’ve picked up the ability to lie and manipulate, because you taught me the best. The best way to play mind games, and pick apart the person you love, witling them down and debasing them to bring yourself up – because only by bringing me low enough could you use me as a stepstool to feel that much higher, that much stronger, and that much better about yourself.

Fuck all the lessons you taught me though, because I would have done anything to not have had to learn them in the first place.

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