All the pain, all the uncertainty, all the insecurity that children of addicts feel…YOU ARE IMPRESSING ALL THAT ONTO YOUR KIDS.
Dont you want them to feel differently than you do? Dont they deserve better, as you did?
I cant imagine what you went through as a child. And why you choose to subject yourself to worse as an adult is beyond me.
No, its not. Pain. Anything to numb the pain. It all just crushes my soul. What amazing potential you have. Look at your mother today. Look at your future if you dont choose another path.
Look, I know youve been on this ride for a long time. Long before me, during me, and ever since.
But you have never met someone who loves you like I do and who believes in you like do. (Eventhough if I didnt show very well at times.)
You need to stop. Old addicts dont age well, if at all. Your pets deserve better. Your family deserves better. Your children definitely deserve better. And more importantly, you deserve to look into a mirror and see what I see. A strong beautiful woman. A proud survivor. A comeback queen. Its in you, baby.
I just keep on praying.