Your husband

I am sorry for your loss last friday [two days ago]. I might be way younger than you, but I know what it’s like to be a widow. I lost my fiance to bowel cancer in June 2017. It would be easier to lie to you, and tell you that you recover from your life partner’s death really quickly, but I’d just be leading you on pretending that the sorrow goes away quickly. It doesn’t. Even though your husband isn’t physically there anymore, he’s still with you in many other ways. His spirit. His soul. Just because you can’t physically see him in front of you, it doesn’t mean that he’s completely gone. He now an invisible version of himself. You can take comfort in the fact that you had a very good long-term relationship with him. Who honestly still stays in a relationship that long these days? You and my grandparents are an example of what true love really is. Seventy-three years of being together through thick and thin. That is true dedication. Sometimes you might subconsciously find yourself talking to him, or whispering to him, or singing to him. I often catch myself doing this,but I like to think my dead fiance can hear me and see me. I look up at the ceiling when I secretly talk to him. It’s survival mode. That is fine to do that. It’s not harming anyone. It’s your mind’s way of keeping him around. It’s very sweet. Who cares if it makes you look crazy? They don’t understand.

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