Solitary confinement

I just feel so broken. It’s been this way for years, as long as I can remember. But lately I really feel it. How can anyone live this long and have no one? Sure, there are people who pretend to care. But they’re all way too self-involved to even lift a finger. And it’s always been this way. It can’t be like this for everyone else. I see the pictures, smiling, happy with their significant others, their babies; their families and friends. None of them are so alone they find themselves talking to themselves out of sheer loneliness. Like I’m doing now I guess. I have these dreams where I’m surrounded by people and I’m funny and flirty and liked and wanted and then I wake up to the same nothingness I left behind when I went to sleep. Every damn day. All these thoughts racing around my head and no one to share them with. What did I do so wrong that no one wants to be a part of my life? Family, friends, potential lovers, just rejection after rejection after rejection. I have to feel like I don’t deserve this, but I must. What other answer is there? “Hey, just love yourself and drink water and everything will be better!” Says everyone who has no fucking clue what my life has been like for so long now. Why don’t you love me and drink some water with me? Oh, I guess I’m just feeling sorry for myself again, time to go back to sleep. My life is so much better in that state.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.