Suffocating

I had a panic attack today. You’ve been kind of distant and cold since we hung out over the weekend. I blame myself for everything, naturally, so it really hit hard when I had to send a “Did i do something wrong?” snapchat to you. You see, I’ve never known love. It has teased me and flirted with me, but has never been mine. You give me hope that someone could (and ultimately will) love me some day, but will it be you? Or do you just want me for hookups and nothing more? This is why I never let anyone in and why I will be closing the doors again for a while. We aren’t 100% over, but it just feels like that’s what it is coming to. I am heartbroken. I am shattered. I feel like I’m suffocating… all over again.