Of my shoulders

I have to get a few things of my shoulders. My thoughts have been circling around the same stuff for quite some time and a few new things joined.

There is this one guy, I liked him since 7th grade, the first time I saw him.
A year ago, we kissed and it felt like heaven. One Problem. My bestfriend used to like him and pressured me to stop talking to him or else I‘ll lose her.
I haven’t talked to him since and my heart aches everytime I see him in my class. I just don‘t know what to do and feel so lost.

My mum just had an Operation and I was so scared, she is the only family that I have left, since my dad has been in prison for almost 4 years now.
I don’t have anybody else and now even my imprisoned dad has COVID.

Sometimes it’s just a little bit too much.

I have always dreamed of studying at this university but since my dad‘s lawyers cost us so much and my mum is working alone I will not be able to go.

To be honest I guess I‘m fine. I feel guilty complaining but hey..life goes on right?

Just had to get something of my shoulders..

One thought on “Of my shoulders”

  1. Friend? No, not a friend, even if she had feeling for him she ought, or he ought to have said, what he wants is best for him, so let us both seek him and see what happens.
    If I liked someone a friend did, I would be straight up and tell the person I liked-Not of the friend, that is their call, however I would tell the friend I meant to, so that if they want, they can tell them too.
    But selfishly I would make sure I would get in first.
    Then I would say, look, I like you a lot, I want to be with you, and whatever I truly wanted to say, I mean if you would end the relationship even of friends only, then saying like or love or lust or whatever, it could hardly harm what you were about to end anyway.
    Time is for you to seek him again, explain, and see what happens, if the friend says or else, then say no no, goodbye then. Then sever that friendship immediately, say this shouldn’t ever be a thing you did to me so if you need this with no explanation, nothing but blackmail then we are not right as friends, see you.
    Then just cut her from all social media and phone.
    If she wants contact, she will make it.
    If she says wow I cannot believe you did this , you simply say yeah, me either, but I will not be threatened and blackmailed, if you think you can do that then clearly my feelings are no matter so when/if that changes maybe we can be some sort of mates, but as it stands you offer blackmail so I am done.

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