Ok so you said we’ll talk, and I have a sinking feeling I know what that means.
So here I will lay out what that will be, then show you I predicted it.
So the why you think we need to talk is, the e-mail.
You think that I think you secretly like me but won’t admit it.
Well newsflash, I know you don’t.
What I said, was simply about the fact you felt bad, when you told me what you did, well I just wanted to be clear, you need to forgive yourself.
And when you did find a person, don’t put that pressure on just you.
I find that you are an amazing woman, so I believe anyone would be crazy to not want to matter to you and earn your trust and respect. It is why I said, tell them the rules and if they won’t play, say bye.
Quite simply, if I was lucky enough to be the one (and again, I know I am not) I would wait for you, because I absolutely respect you, I absolutely support your beliefs.
Oh and the ironic bit?
Years ago I prayed-If you are real, then find me someone who makes me happy, excited, who I would love to share my life with. And I said, look, I will adopt a faith if you do this, there is only one being who could, so either make me love who I wish I could, or find me one who ignites a fire in me, then I believe.
Then you came along, oh the amusement to find out your belief. But I said, ok god, I love being around her, I respect her, I am happier in her presence, so, if she wants me, I will wait, but that she wants me, well it matches everything else.
But it’s a joke because the original prayer was when I realised I just am trying to do the right thing but i forgot as my faith waned.
When I added on to that prayer, it was because I still did not believe but kind of wanted to.
Now how I know you aren’t interested? Well because we both know your reasons fall flat.
Even the converting, because I would be a better one than most others, and that’s absent faith, with the faith definitely.
But it does not matter, you know all the things I could say, you haven’t any doubts on what person I would be, willing to do the thing you said (the naughty thing) willing to support you, be there, you know I’d be faithful, that I would be willing to wait for you before doing anything, that I want to know you, that nothing you do could be shameful and that i would listen and care.
But it doesn’t matter, you can no more force yourself to feel than I can force myself to switch it off.
But make no mistake I know you don’t, as such I won’t be pressuring you, hinting or asking, that was why I said, if you ever change your feelings, just say.
On the assumption that just wont happen, of course I am gutted, you are gorgeous, funny, entertaining, exciting just make me happy. So, I will shut my mouth and take what I can get