When COVID hit you I was devastated, sick with worry because you know I care about you, I know that you don’t know how much but even so you know it is a lot.
Why else do you think I was so concerned, yeah chances were slim anything bad would happen but when you love a person you are going to worry.
Anyway I did tell you I would be there whatever you need, course you got family around but all I wanted was you to know, I care, I was worried.
And I did my best to keep your spirits up, I knew not to overdo it, and I accept since we are not together I didn’t want you thinking this freak won’t leave me be.
But what hurts is, there was not one single call or message of how am I.
But you have been in touch with others.
I know you are not doing great and of course I would not be on your mind often. But heck I did think we were closer than absolutely nothing.
I feel so stupid, I wish I didn’t love you, wish when I see you again I could happily ignore you for a bit, but being the damn fool who loves you, of course I won’t instead I will be like a damn puppy happy to see its master.
But inside I will be just a bit, no a lot cut up that I rated so low to you that you wouldn’t even once have wanted to know how I was doing.
I know how selfish I sound, and I never worried or checked up on you, or called you, or tried to brighten your day, in order to get thanks, or anything, I did it because you matter.
And not one how are you.
And don’t assume any readers, this is non stop, it was not.
I know when I am not wanted, I just had till now believed we were friends at least, based on your actions not my expectations.
Well I shall slither into the background and just do my best to keep away, when someone’s not important, not wanted to speak to, then the message has come through. My apologies for caring
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