Years

Almost 10 since my ex had last contacted me at a belated hand off of goods at Sakura hibachi grill. We had parted on as about as amicable as I knew how, but I did the whole social media removal thing in Hope’s of not falling into the many obsession traps I knew to exist in long term partings.

I was now married to someone links to my time in Wyoming, with a daughter a few years old.
I get tripped up in describing what came next because I dont know how to define when you have a conversation internally that then manifests .

In my early motherhood I would get real stuck on the worry that somehow I had chosen a partner that would bring about my darkest fears, and had sent out this telepathic line for an outside party with experience just to kind of scope out the situation and evaluate.

Lo, not much time passes and it’s my ex contacting my now husband about attending a metal show together . He does this not just once , but a few times. I reach out to inquire, to get a feel for why hes deciding to make his presence known over this way and also reestablishsocial media contact. He tells me my husband a good guy, sends a few likes to some pictures of my daughter and the cats and let’s me know about the electricians path hes been walking.

I’m more inclined to let things rest as sometimes our conversations are not physical and sometimes even if things don’t work out in company the opportunity to say I’m still looking out for you may also become a space of behavior.

Not that I haven’t considered more dangerous alternatives.

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