To Stephen Tyrone Colbert.
Hi, I type this to tell you anonymously that I have the biggest crush on you. I have had a crush on you for two years now.
I have a crush on you because (and these reasons are in no particular order) you are brilliant, you can talk circles around most people with your knowledge of politics, Catholicism, and of course The Lord Of The Rings. You are hilarious, even when I am in my deepest darkest depression your humor always makes me laugh and cheers me up. Also, I have a crush on you because you are (in my opinion) the sexiest hottest man on the face of the planet.
So, that’s it that’s all I wanted to say anonymously is that I have a huge crush on you and I just want to thank you for sharing your humor with the world. GOD bless you, Stephen Colbert.
Your biggest fan in Toronto Canada